Where To Go When You Don’t Want To Make A Big Deal About Your Birthday, But You Actually Kinda Do

Places to try when you weren’t going to do anything for your birthday, but now you are.
Where To Go When You Don’t Want To Make A Big Deal About Your Birthday, But You Actually Kinda Do image

photo credit: Sandy Noto

Your birthday is coming up, and you don’t want it to be a big deal. It seems a little childish now that you’re finally at a point in your life where you no longer need to steal someone else’s HBO Max password (but you do anyway). Above all, you definitely don’t want to be one of those annoying people who has a “birthday month.” Also, you’re still getting over that malfunctioning mechanical bull incident from a past celebration. You might even go so far as to tell people not to bother planning anything.

But as the day looms closer, you realize you’ve made a terrible mistake. There’s a difference between a big deal, and no deal at all. What do you do? Don’t worry, it’s not too late. You can start dropping hints like crazy, or take matters into your own hands—starting with this guide. Below are places that are nice but not too fancy. They’re good for groups, and don’t require much advance planning (or, in some cases, any). And none have mechanical bulls, so you’re all good there.


photo credit: Kim Kovacik


River North

$$$$Perfect For:Date NightDinner with the ParentsFirst/Early in the Game DatesSpecial OccasionsDrinking Good Wine

You’re at the point in your life where having servers sing “Happy Birthday” while blinding you with sparklers in a piece of cake seems more like a fire hazard than a celebration. So go to Obelix, a French restaurant in River North that’s nice enough to have white tablecloths, but still relaxed enough to have your server crack a joke when discussing the oysters. The menu has fantastic French classics, along with some fusion-y dishes (like a foie gras taco). It’s all good, and will remind you you can still have fun despite the fact that now you do your own taxes.

Bavette’s is fantastic, but going there is definitely a big deal. It’s not cheap, and reservations are hard to get. But Trivoli in the West Loop is from the same team and less of a headache. They serve upscale bar food like truffle mozzarella sticks and fish and chips, along with entrees like prime rib and fried chicken. The restaurant has the same speakeasy thing going for it, but it’s much more casual than its River North counterparts. Plus they’re part of Gin Alley, which means they also have a very cute cobblestone patio that’s full of string lights.

This spot is Permanently Closed.

Complex salsas, handmade tortillas, and excellent palomas are just a few reasons why Con Todo will inspire you to abandon your annual true crime documentary/at-home pedicure birthday celebration. This casual Mexican restaurant in Logan Square is easy to walk in, but the large, bright, pastel-colored space is always busy enough to still feel fun. Con Todo has lots of tables good for small groups, a long cocktail list with great drinks under $12, and a menu of delicious small plates, tortas, tacos, and entrees like enchiladas or chile relleno. Plus, those murders will (probably) still be unsolved when you get home, so you’ll have time to crack the case.

Repeatedly telling everyone leading up to your birthday that you didn’t want to do anything gave people the impression...that you didn’t want to do anything. Well, that wasn’t true, but now your birthday weekend is here and you feel bad dragging everyone to a busy neighborhood full of insanely busy restaurants. For someplace fun but not over-the-top, go to Funkenhausen, a German-inspired restaurant in West Town. Try things like the stroganoff spaetzle, ricotta dumplings, or the “Big As Funk” ribeye. You won’t be posing for any Instagram pictures under a painting of a schnitzel with wings, but you’ll still have a great time.



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Daisies is a moderately upscale farm-to-table spot in Logan Square. And it’s the kind of place where your server will let you know not only where your lettuce came from, but its entire origin story, including when its birthday is, too. The menu here is mainly vegetable- and pasta-focused, but there are also appetizers like cheese curds (which are a must-order). Daisies pops up frequently on people’s “I’ve been meaning to go there” lists, so when you suggest it to your friends, it’s basically like a birthday present to them.

Deciding to have dinner at a Big Chicago Restaurant (BCR) automatically makes your birthday a big deal. Which you don’t want. Not really. But...going somewhere likable and delicious with a wide-ranging menu to make everyone happy would be fun, now that you think about it. You just don’t want a sceney sh*tshow in a neighborhood where someone could get run over by a party trolley. Etta, a BCR in Wicker Park, is a useful workaround. The menu has delicious housemade pastas and pizza, plus other wood-fired dishes like vegetables and pork shoulder, and the space has a lot of round tables and booths that are perfect for groups of all sizes. But the truth is, the food tastes so good you’d be happy coming by yourself, which would be a serious birthday power move.

Sushi-san is huge and (if the poop emoji by the bathrooms is any indicator) doesn’t take itself too seriously. And while that irreverent attitude is perfect for an NBD birthday celebration, it doesn’t extend to the food, which is all very well-executed. You can’t go wrong with anything you order here, whether it’s the nigiri (order a “San-set” to try a bunch of different things), the rolls, the small plates, or the very fluffy pancakes. Don’t leave without getting a photo of your Fulbright scholar friend under the poop sign.

After falling off the stage during your birthday karaoke performance last year—at a place that technically wasn’t a karaoke bar—you want to show everyone how relaxed you can be. Invite some friends to meet you at Amaru in Wicker Park. This is a fun but low-key Latin American restaurant where you can share dishes like chicken skewers in a spicy huancaina sauce or the yuca gnocchi with a delicious rabbit bolognese. It’s also close to plenty of bars, just in case you decide that the good folks at The Violet Hour need to hear your rendition of “Black Velvet” after all.

You had originally planned for an entire Saturday of “me time,” but after your at-home facial and a giant mug of tea, you’ve come to the realization that “me time” is incredibly boring. Course-correct your birthday by ordering way too much food and drink at Daebak, a Korean BBQ spot in Chinatown. It has a fun industrial atmosphere with K-pop music videos projected all over the walls, and it works for a wide range of group sizes. The attentive servers are very good about turning your meat over the gas grill, which is a relief, because birthdays are no time to DIY, and you’re pretty sure your friend is too drunk to work over the flames. Get plenty of refills on the excellent banchan and don’t leave without ordering a kimchi pancake—maybe put a candle in it.

Not only is the food here great, but generally speaking, The Publican is a great spot for get-togethers, birthday or otherwise. The giant communal table works for groups of all sizes, and the ambience is casual, so no one will feel like they have to dress up. The menu is well-rounded (with equal space devoted to vegetables, seafood, and meat), and the dishes are reasonably priced—meaning everyone can afford to bring you a present. Not that you’re expecting one or anything.

Part of “not making a big deal” about your birthday is being flexible. But wandering aimlessly around a neighborhood with no plan at all is a bit too flexible. This Pilsen spot is where to go if you want options. Have dinner at Dusek’s (order the mussels), get drinks at Punch House, the vintage-themed bar downstairs, and/or go next door to Tack Room, where there’s live piano music on the weekends. (All three places are owned by the same people.) If the birthday gods are smiling on you, there might even be a concert worth seeing at Thalia Hall - also next door.

Unfortunately your birthday is in January, when most of your friends have a post-holiday resolution they’re still trying to keep. Rather than being forced to listen to everyone complain about how hard it is to go out to eat on Whole30, make a group reservation at Summer House. It’s a restaurant with plenty of kind-of-healthy options, plus a bakery case of treats you can take to go. Eat them later by yourself, or with your other friends.

It seems like nobody in your group plans their birthdays anymore. Someone needs to end the dry spell, and it might as well be you. You’re really doing everyone a favor. So pick someplace that’s fun, but not a lot of effort to arrange. The Asian fusion dishes (like kimchi-stuffed empanadas) at Mott Street are delicious and interesting, reservations are easy to get, and the communal seating and large outdoor patio make it ideal for group dinners. Maybe everyone else will have such a good time, they’ll stop their birthday moratoriums—so yours can go back into effect.

You’re pretty sure you might have found a grey hair, and the office’s Doogie Howser just got the promotion you were counting on. In other words, you’re not really feeling the “getting older” thing this year. Luckily there’s Mi Tocaya, a neighborhood restaurant in Logan Square. It’s one of the best places in Chicago to visit when you want to forget about your problems. The Mexican small plates, like beef tongue with a spicy peanut sauce, are great for sharing, and the lively environment might take your mind off the fact that no one wanted to check your ID. So you can focus on what’s actually important: your birthday dessert (order the tres leches cake).

Thanks to Facebook, everyone in your office knows today is your birthday. You weren’t going to say anything about it, but now they want to take you out to lunch, and you get to pick the place. Quartino in River North has decent Italian, as well as an inexhaustible supply of dining rooms - so your entire office can come, and you won’t have to wait for a table. You won’t have to pay, either (we hope). Win-win.

Even though your original plan was to spend your birthday alone, binge-watching Quantum Leap with a bottle of Arbor Mist, you now regret not planning something. Two ideas for you: One, wait a few minutes and see if the feeling passes. Two, get everyone together for botanical beers and elevated bar food at Forbidden Root. The space is cool (it’s in a renovated theater) and quiet enough that you can hold a conversation, and the drinks are way better than screw-top wine from the grocery store. Save that for your cat’s half-birthday.

You secretly miss getting a little obnoxious and drunk on your birthday. Bar Siena in West Loop is an excellent place to do this. It has a trendy crowd and atmosphere, reliably good Italian food, and a huge bar area that’s perfect for acting like you’re turning 23 (no matter which birthday this really is). No one will notice, judge, or care.

Remember when you were little, and kids with summer birthdays got to have pool parties? This place doesn’t have a pool, but you can channel the same idea with a backyard BBQ-style get-together. Plan to start off at the huge bar in the center of the restaurant (since you can’t make a reservation). Once you secure a picnic table, get in the cafeteria-style line, which moves quickly. Then, you’ll have all the time in the world to eat ribs and be glad you’re not relying on your drunk friends to man the grill.

Some spots are good for groups without being obvious about it—meaning they aren’t full of giant tables, or neon signs you’ll want to take pictures under, or crowds of people holding gift bags waiting for their tables. Ema is one of those spots. Its menu of affordable Mediterranean small plates is designed for sharing, and there are plenty of round tables that can easily seat mid-sized groups. It is a total sleeper birthday spot. Also sparkler-free.

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