We've purposely left the Dos Caminos empire untouched up until this point. Calling them out for their overpriced and underwhelming food is almost too easy. It's not entirely their fault that Mexican food in this city generally sucks, however, they're certainly public enemy #1. Plenty of people love Dos Caminos, and good for them. They're not the ones you should be taking restaurant advice from.
Even though you may not choose to dine at Dos Caminos, Dos Caminos inevitably chooses you. Office happy hours you didn't plan, random birthday parties you need to show face at, or perhaps an utter lack of options, as was the case for us before a Highline Ballroom show. Turns out, the Meatpacking edition is the biggest bust yet, making it impossible to ignore any longer.
As we're all well aware, the Meatpacking District, especially during summer, is completely out of control. It seems to get more ridiculous with each passing hour and begs the question: Is this sh*t for real? A front row Outdoor/Patio Situation seat is prime real estate, and there ain't no better place to Laughing at Euros in Crazy Outfits all day long than Dos Caminos. Too bad that's about all they're good for.
As usual, the food was a snooze and service laughably bad. We sat outside for a solid 15 minutes, thirsty as all hell, before finally flagging down a server. They must hire anyone with a LinkedIn resume claiming they spent spring break at The Oasis Cancun as this is a piss poor operation. One waiter, rocking a pair of white sunglasses while he worked, was too busy chatting up a couple leggy ladies at the table next to us to even consider looking our way. You're wearing white sunglasses dude, you have zero shot. Our waiter was tragically awkward, trying way too hard to be funny and stood no chance when attempting to upsell us on the type of tequila in our margaritas. No dickwad, we do not care if you 'suggest' Patron Silver or special edition Don Julio. We're more than fine with whatever the $11 'house' tequila is on the menu, thank you.
This Dos Caminos is a microcosm of everything that's wrong with the Meatpacking District. Who knew a bad restaurant could be Perfect For so many different things. Whatever, at least it's entertaining.
OK, I'll admit it. The guacamole is really damn good. It's their bread and butter and literally the only single memorable thing about this place besides that feeling of resentment when the bill comes. When you're with a big group, they'll come out and prepare it tableside. Everyone enjoys a good show. Too bad this one ends here.
Think back to the last time you ate at Dos Caminos. Can you remember what you had? Didn't think so. That's because the food is numbingly average. Empanadas, ceviche, quesadillas, tacos, enchiladas, fajitas...over the course of the last decade, we've sampled a good portion of the menu and can't recall anything that impressed us. Whole Foods makes a better chicken taquito. You can find them in their frozen foods section. Also, there's a reason why the mahi mahi in their pescado tacos is drowning in smoked chili aioli. If you tasted it alone, you might just gag (it's that bad).