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Corkbuzz Wine Bar

You know what, it's our fault. We should have known that we were going to hate this, and skipped the place all together. Warning signs that should have been heeded: 1) Cutesy wine bar name. 2) Confounding mission statement. 3) The fact that there is a mission statement. 4) $35 glasses of wine on the menu. 5) Unsettling wine snob bartender. Those five things don't add up to a happy Infatuation experience, and we should have done the math and headed to Terroir instead. But somehow, we missed all the signs and happily saddled up to the bar at Corkbuzz for a drink and a bite recently. I think you know where this is going.

Here's the thing about Corkbuzz, which is actually a "wine studio" that has a wine bar in it. We love wine. We drink more than we probably should, and actually have a really solid handle on what's what, and (more importantly) what we like. But we certainly aren't experts, and have plenty to learn. Really, who doesn't? So it's naturally appealing to hear that a wine bar is interested in educating it's patrons. It's also appealing to hear them tout a menu of delicious food that we can eat while housing glasses of wine and, um, learning. That's exactly why we love Terroir so much. God we love Terroir. The unfortunate thing is that where Terroir succeeds is precisely the place where Corkbuzz fails miserably. You can't claim to be a place that's interested in teaching the average person about wine, but then make it completely inaccessible for anyone not carrying a Russian "politician" sized wad of cash. You also can't give me 'tude when I tell you that I don't care for Reislings. Yes dude, I know they aren't all super sweet, and I've had plenty of them. I'm also gonna need more than two options that cost less than $15 a glass. At that rate, I might as well just go all in and get a master sommelier certification. I'm gonna need a loan either way.

The food situation at Corkbuzz is just as hopeless. We started off our meal with some cheese to go along with our preciously valuable sips of learning wine, and for six bucks, got a slice of something from Switzerland so small that we thought about saving it for next time we're setting a mouse trap. The meats weren't much more appealing, and the crudo and house cured salmon dishes we had were also highly overpriced and unimpressive. The only thing that kept us from going to second dinner after this was a decent bowl of pasta. We still weren't happy, but at least we were a little closer to full for $150. I suppose we did learn one thing for all that money - that we're not coming back here for another lesson.

Food Rundown

L’Etivaz Raw Cow Milk Cheese (Switzerland)

This is apparently the world's most expensive cheese.

Columbus Sopressata

You know, this is probably really good sopressata, but our meat and cheese plate was such a sad looking thing that it didn't matter.

Hamachi Crudo

We loved the sound of it (hamachi, grapefruit, endive), but this dish was a snoozer, and it wasn't cheap.

House-cured Salmon, Beets, Pistachio

Another dish that will under-deliver and make you angry that you spent $14 on it. The salmon had some nice flavor, but there wasn't much of it, and the beet/pistachio dressing didn't really elevate things to baller status.

Bucatini, Brussels Sprouts, Chili Oil

This bowl of pasta saved us from having to eat again, and it was pretty good. The chili oil made things spicy, and the bucatini was al dente and satisfying. So...there you go.

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