NYCReview
photo credit: Teddy Wolfe
Red Hook Tavern
Included In
You have a big brain. It weighs about three pounds, and it’s powerful enough to help you differentiate between your real friends and the people who only talk to you because you occasionally have gum. Still, it’s sometimes best not to overthink things. When we tell you there’s a place from the people behind Hometown Bar-B-Que that was inspired by old-school bars and steakhouses, for example, you should immediately conclude that A) it’s worth checking out, and B) it’s somewhere you should be eating meat.
Hometown makes most other barbecue taste like marinated baseball gloves, so it makes sense that Red Hook Tavern also excels at cooking meat. But this isn’t a barbecue spot. It’s a restaurant on a quiet corner in Red Hook that looks like if Corner Bistro studied interior design, had a few kids, and started spending time at the Film Forum. It’s a long, dark space with muted floral wallpaper and exposed brick walls lined with empty wine bottles, and you’ll want to treat it as your personal clubhouse where you ignore vegetables and eat burgers that taste like the distillation of the concept of beef.
Think of the burger here as a distant cousin of the one at Peter Luger. It’s a minimalist sandwich with one big patty and some salty melted cheese, and when you bite into it, the tender meat crumbles like it has had a long day and is eternally grateful to be at home in your mouth. Order two, and place one in a time capsule to show future generations what quality beef should taste like.
photo credit: Teddy Wolff
As for the rest of the roughly 20-item menu, it’s important that you exercise a little skepticism, especially when it comes to dishes that don’t involve meat. Do you really need a bowl of perfectly fine corn with a side of radicchio cups for making wraps? No - and, honestly, it’s weird that these DIY corn tacos are even an option at a place that feels like a cross between Cheers and a steakhouse. The raw radishes with butter also seem like they wound up on the menu due to some clerical error, although this classic French snack is by no means bad. Like most of the vegetables here, these radishes just seem unnecessary and confusing in the context of a place that feels like an otherwise straightforward homage to vintage taverns.
The best place to sit is at the long bar - which is reserved for walk-ins - but there are also some tables along the wall where you’ll typically see some dates and small groups having candlelit dinners with copious amounts of wine. That’s another strong suit of Red Hook Tavern, especially if you nerd out over wine that’s French and natural. And if you look closely, you’ll notice something else on most tables. It has two syllables and starts with a “b” - and if you need another clue, it’s the main reason why you come here. You shouldn’t need your brain for this one.
Food Rundown
photo credit: Teddy Wolff
Red Hook Tavern Burger
photo credit: Teddy Wolff
New York Strip Steak
photo credit: Teddy Wolff
Little Neck Clams
Roast Chicken
photo credit: Teddy Wolff
Romaine Wedge Salad
photo credit: Teddy Wolff
Easter Egg Radish
photo credit: Teddy Wolff
Roasted Corn
photo credit: Teddy Wolff