House Of Eve

According to House Of Eve’s website, they’re a “sexy restaurant.” And if your idea of sexy is a dining room that looks like a CB2-decorated Millennium Falcon at the bottom of an Amazon building, then, by all means, grab a table. But much like tiny purse dogs in the 2000s, the mediocre food at this South Lake Union restaurant is merely a prop for your social media posts. 

House Of Eve’s menu has the same variety as a Delta airport lounge, and the dishes are all pretty boring and underseasoned across the board. Your appetizer options don’t stretch too far beyond greens or bread, and the entrees are just as yawn-inducing, with dishes like alfredo pasta, mac and cheese, and dry mussels. Sure, the house salad is fine, with lots of snappy pear chunks and dried cranberries. But charred brussels sprouts could use more time in an oven to soften up, and the bland vegetarian rigatoni bolognese tastes like a jar of Ragu, which we’d rather buy for $3.99 at QFC—not for $26 here. 

Disappointing meal aside, this spot gives Seattle a place where you can wear a cashmere trench coat instead of a Kraken rain shell—somewhere to dress up and feel like you’re inside a Los Angeles clubstaurant and not on a tech company’s campus. Come here to have a lively time and drink a dark cherry martini with other well-dressed people, snap a few new pictures for your feed, and just grab a pizza for sustenance on the way home.

Food Rundown

photo credit: Daniel Thomas

Winter House Salad

This salad is the best thing here. It’s light on the dressing, heavy on the cheese, and has plenty of crunchy hazelnuts and cubed pear strewn throughout. Order it if you desperately need something to go with that vanilla-infused vodka cocktail.

photo credit: Daniel Thomas

Brussels Sprouts

While the crispy bits that fall to the bottom of the plate are tasty, these huge brussels sprouts are too hard to enjoy. Stick with salad for your food prop.

photo credit: Daniel Thomas

Rigatoni Bolognese

No amount of parmesan can mask the flavorless sauce that’s happening here.

Mama’s Mussels

The best part of this dish involves dunking crusty bread into a lemony white wine sauce that’s accented by leeks and fennel. Otherwise, you can skip these dry mussels with minuscule specks of chorizo floating around.