Sparks Steak House

Perfect For: Wasting Your Time and Money

Dress code: business casual. Thanks for the tip, Sparks website. I'll be sure to eat somewhere else. I don't care if you wear pleated wrinkle-free Dockers every day of your life, how does that even make sense for a restaurant dress code? Formal, or jacket required is one thing, but clearly stating that your clientele should be wearing tucked in golf shirts? Classy. Make sure to let us know when Hawaiian shirt Friday happens.

If you haven't figured it out by now, we're not fans of Sparks. Everything about the place feels stuffy and corporate, like eating at the only steakhouse within twenty miles of a major convention center. Despite the business casual rule, most everyone you'll see is dressed in a boxy suit, looking ready to drop some dollars at the nearest strip club after dinner. And on top of all that, the steaks are a let down and the service is terrible. The one thing Sparks does have going for it? A famous mobster was murdered out front. Cool! (says everyone on the red double decker bus). We don't know about you, but we'll skip the gangster back story and eat a steak somewhere that doesn't make us angry.

Food Rundown:

Prime Sirloin
This is the steak that Sparks is allegedly known for. It's pretty much a strip steak, and most times we've had it, we've not been impressed. For some reason, i find myself chewing on Sparks steaks more than I should have to.

Filet Mignon
Expensive, unimpressive and overcooked last time we tried it. Another pass.

Every time I see the lobsters come out at Sparks, I think of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. Maybe its the silver platter the lobster comes served on, or maybe it's the 87 year old banker dude eating it. They're good, but you should be getting your lobster fix somewhere cheaper and better.

Creamed spinach, mushroom caps, asparagus...there really isn't much to say other than that these are your average steakhouse sides. Doesn't really matter how good they are when the steaks aren't up to snuff.

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