Eveleigh

They say first impressions are everything.

And by all accounts, Eveleigh delivers a killer one. The somewhat hidden space on the Sunset Strip is stunning. The rustic interior feels like a French tavern where famous writers drink absinthe and f*ck, and the back patio indeed has one of the best views in the city. You sit down at your table and a Michael Kors model approaches you with the most core-shakingly perfect British accent you’ve ever heard and asks if you want to go snowshoeing in Whistler together this weekend. None of that is true except he is the waiter asking if you want water, but you hear what you want to hear. The British accent is real though. For now.

So, you’re smitten. You order everything in sight simply because you’re happy to be alive and also kind of panicking. The first course of vegetable whatever arrives at the table and it’s delicious. Omg, is this your new favorite place of all time? Slam dunk, home run, all of the gold medals Bruce Jenner. Eveleigh, you are perfect.

But then, just like that, it happens. Your British waiter boyfriend shouts something across the dining hall to another waiter and it is, in fact, NOT IN A BRITISH ACCENT.

Throw open the shutters, roll up the rugs, and slap your neighbor: You’ve been tricked.

You suddenly gaze upon this throne of lies in which you’ve been dining with a new sense of urgency. Those cool writers drinking drugs inside are actually just really horrible people who have never seen what 8am looks like and Prince Harry is actually just a dude from Phoenix who is currently seeking better representation. A half hour goes by before your next plate hits the table and suddenly you’re wondering if anyone here is actually doing their job or simply using you to practice their Switched At Birth sides for tomorrow. The food remains fine, but the service is so poor and the atmosphere so increasingly nauseating, you’ve simply stopped caring.

Eveleigh is certainly popular and will no doubt stay that way. LA possesses an infinite amount of impressionable people who enjoy places like this and that’s fine. We just ask you to remain cautious - first impressions are most certainly not everything. And neither are fake British accents.

Food Rundown

Jidori Chicken

This was good enough. But absolutely not worth $30. Or the 35 minutes it took to finally get it.

Wild Pacific Yellowtail

Everything around the actual fish itself was actually very good. The fish itself? Pretty forgettable.

Pinzimonio

Aside from good Instagram lighting, one thing that Eveleigh does really well is veggies. And the pinzimonio is basically a giant bowl of them with a fantastic eggplant dip on the side. We approve.

Blueberry Crisp

Alright this thing is really good. AND IT SHOULD BE.

White Sangria

This is one of the main reasons Eveleigh’s patio is packed every weekend. Sure it’s good (it is Sangria after all), but definitely not worth the price. You have unlimited bottomless mimosa options in every direction of Eveleigh. Go there instead.