Weird Al Yankovic is a weird dude, but the man has faked his way through a music career that earned him three Grammys and millions of dollars. When I remember this, I sometimes ask myself whether I’d be capable of writing a Weird Al song. So here’s a sneak peak at Infatuation’s new track that will undoubtedly lead us to a future Grammy for Best Comedy Album, inspired by two things hot in the streets: fried eggs on a sandwich and Beyoncé.
[Lead in music to Single Ladies plays in background] Up in this place, stuffing my face, I’m doing my own little thing. Deciding to dip and now you wanna trip, ‘cause another person’s laughing at me. I’m up on it, it’s up on me, like nobody’s paying attention, just cried my tears, from winter fears, you can’t be mad at me. CAUSE I LIKE IT AND I’M GONNA PUT AN EGG ON IT. I like it and I’m gonna put an egg on it wuh uh oh uh uh oh oh uh oh uh uh oh..
A sexual song about eggs all up on sandwiches. Boom. Grammy. You can’t tell me that wouldn’t be the best Weird Al style song of all time, which is why when we accept our little golden gramophone, we’ll be giving thanks to the true creative inspiration behind our award winning jam - Eastman Egg.
Eastman Egg is a sleek and modern looking cafe you should consider popping into during your workweek for breakfast, lunch, or coffee. Keep an eye out for it on the east side of Wacker just south of Washington, because Eastman is easy to miss in the shuffle of office building lobbies and a UPS.
Serving breakfast sandwiches is kind of like doing god’s work, and the verdict on these bad boys is they are pretty good. That’s to be expected though when you’re using quality ingredients from local producers like La Farine Bakery for bread, and everybody’s favorite Slagel Family Farm’s for meat. But only pretty good is the extent we are willing to go in this relationship. Our biggest problem with Eastman is that a big ol’ breakfast sandwich is a bit heavy to start the day, but it’s not always big enough to satisfy us at lunch - quite the catch 22. We’ll admit we aren’t big breakfast eaters, so if having a hearty meal first thing in the morning is for you, Eastman is open at 6 AM Monday thru Friday to serve your needs. And you should definitely let them serve you over anything McDonalds or Starbucks is offering nearby. We’ll also point out that Eastman has done a nice job evolving, because they’ve started to add some distinctively lunch items to their menu to cater to a more expansive crowd, so we salute them for that.
We also salute them for our musical inspiration. See you on the red carpet in 2016.
This is good coffee. Consider popping into Eastman just for a caffeine jolt even if breakfast sandwiches aren’t your thing.
The classic breakfast sammie with farm egg, thick-cut bacon, and white cheddar on ciabatta bread. Our biggest complaint is the toast on the ciabatta isn’t always consistent. We’d like to see a bit more attention to detail there.
Egg, ham, and Egmont cheese spiced up with a little sliced cucumber and sweet chili sauce. This sandwich is also served on ciabatta, and we are fans of the sauce.
Hangover cure for sure, at least if you’re still showing up to work these days with those kinds of things. Egg, chorizo, cheese, avocado, and house made salsa verde on ciabatta bread. It gives that extra bit of grease and oil you’ll need.
Not sure if we would call this a healthy sandwich, but it at least has healthier ingredients? Egg, bell pepper, and spinach on a seven-grain roll.
This bad boy will fill you up. Ham, turkey, and white cheddar with some garlic mayo, honey mustard, and pickles on French bread.
An egg salad sandwich with caramelized onion on French bread also. It’s too bland, and from here on out we’ll probably pretend it doesn’t exist, kind of like our neighbors.