Zero Zero review image

Zero Zero

$$$$(415) 348-8800

Zero Zero is one of those "two-floor" restaurants. A one-floor restaurant can be sleepy, cozy, deafening, over-crowded, aphrodisiac, or neighborhoody. A two-floor restaurant can be none of those things. A two-floor restaurant can be one thing, and one thing only: a f*cking OPERATION. Rent being as it is (too damn high), a two-floor restaurant can only survive if it is turning tables, and you can feel it.

A f*cking operation can feel like the Cheesecake Factory, where you're like, man, it's kind of a crime that people are eating 1510-calorie chicken caesar salads for $15.95 (true fact). Or it can feel like Zero Zero, where you're like, man, I can't believe pizza this good is coming out of that kitchen. With astonishing regularity! How many of these pizzas do they put out a night? Do they all have crust this puffy? Sausage this meaty and spicy? Hen of the woods this mushroomy?

It's not clear how these guys have 90th-percentile Neapolitan pizza down to an exact science, but it would be nice if they handed out some tips around town. The draaaaanks maintain six-sigma precision as well. Especially that house negroni, on tap for a reason.

The pastas do occasionally fall down a bit, and the factory-floor vibe isn't perfect for dating situations. But sometimes you want the Toyota, and not the moody Alfa Romeo. Zero Zero should continue their march of doughy kaizen, and we'll keep enjoying the fruits of their efficiency.

Food Rundown

Fried Chicken Thighs

A good piece of the chicken to fry. Aren't they all? (They're not.)

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Okay, but not sure the duck, bacon, and chili were all necessary together. Also the rigatoni were a tiny bit gummy.

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Not a mistake to order, but not up to the pizza standard.


The classic done well. Yeah, you want the "extra" version, with the fancy-ass mozzarella. Look at me now, haters.

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Confession: I don't love mushrooms as much as many fellow eaters. But I do like good ones. And damn if the mushroom/leek/garlic combo on this pizza didn't totally win me over. A frigging excellent pie.

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Cured meats, cured meats, tomato, mozzarella,basil. If you don't like this you probably don't eat meat or salt. Or bread.Go back to your cave, paleo dieter, leave this pizza to me.

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Soft Serve

Wouldn't be wholly opposed if every restaurant went with soft serve with cool toppings for dessert. Zero Zero and Alta are at the vanguard, the rest should follow.

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