Chateau ZZ's

Chateau ZZ’s is a Mexican restaurant with a French name inside a petit castle in Brickell with a members-only club on the second floor. Still with us? This place is brought to you by the folks from Carbone, so if tiger print velvet chairs and maximalism is your thing, you’re in the right place. If delicious food is more your bag, stick to the left side of the cartoonishly large menu. That’s where Chateau ZZ’s redeeming qualities live, namely the appetizers like michelada oysters and spicy tuna tostadas.

But the entrees are more inconsistent. The $155 lobster fideos arrives lounging in a bath of mushy noodles and its accompanying flour tortillas are chewy enough to make a faux leather jacket. But dessert is great, and the outdoor greenhouse is a more enjoyable place to sit if your eyes can’t handle the aggressive wallpaper inside. We just can’t tell you much about what happens at the members club upstairs. We’re with you at the ground floor staring up at the literal and figurative staircase we’re not allowed to climb.