“Man, it’s a hot one,” isn’t just something Rob Thomas said - it’s also the unofficial slogan for the city of Los Angeles. So here are the best places to cool off when the mere thought of another second in the sun is enough to give you melanoma.
The Air-conditioned spots
We’re not talking about the dining room - we’re talking the wine cellar. It’s not technically open to the public, but ignore the staff when they say things like, “Please don’t go in there, or we’ll call the police,” and you’ll find a 52-degree heaven that’s also filled with free bottles of four-figure wine. It doubles as a good place to hide when your boss’s meeting with Channing Tatum is going poorly.
AMC Burbank Town Center 6
There are three different AMCs in Burbank - and this is by far the coldest. It’s on the third floor of an already-very-air-conditioned mall, and it’s virtually impossible to find, meaning no one else will be in the theater with you, raising the temperature with their hot, hot breath.
The Pacific Ocean
It’s nature’s-air conditioner. And unlike the wine cellar at Craft, you’re actually allowed to walk into it. So go chill with some stingrays and the souls of lost sailors.
You probably know that Majordomo is one of the best restaurants in LA - but it also has the most finely tuned air-conditioning in the city. The temperature in their dining room has literally never been one degree higher or lower than 71, and that’s a fact.*
Editor’s Note: Not actually a fact.
The Bridge Over Splash Mountain In Disneyland
It’s not really indoors, but there’s no better way to cool down than standing over this Disneyland ride and getting doused with liquid chlorine. It’s also more entertaining than that animatronic Abraham Lincoln show.
The Walk-In Refrigerator At The Bungalow
Sure, there’s a massive beachside patio at The Bungalow that’s usually not too hot. But the real party is in the walk-in refrigerator, where you won’t have to hang out with anybody who voluntarily chooses to go to The Bungalow.
Zara At The Third Street Promenade
Not only does Zara have impossibly affordable clothing that will literally last weeks before disintegrating, it also has air-conditioning, and offers a nice respite from the Ed Sheeran imitators on the Promenade outside.
Trader Joe's On Hyperion
Trader Joe’s on Hyperion in Silver Lake is the coldest Trader Joe’s in the city, and as such, is also the one where you’re most likely to run into your celebrity crush wearing sweatpants.
The Seafood Case At Avra
There is virtually no circumstance where we’d recommend going to Avra, unless you’re really starting to get hot in Beverly Hills, and need to cool off with a nap in the seafood case. You’ll get to hang out with dead red snappers and dead-on-the-inside agents who came down from their office for a dinner meeting about “Weinstein’s comeback.”