LDNReview
St Leonards Restaurant
This spot is Permanently Closed.
Included In
‘I don’t get it’ is something we all say regularly. Or should do anyway. It’s okay not to get it, and not getting something is an important part of our review process at The Infatuation. It means trying again. Working it out. Making sure. Eating more. And then eating some more.
Take our experiences at St Leonards as an example. The first time we went, we left feeling like a teenage boyfriend in an art gallery: confused and filled with self-doubt. Naturally, this meant a second visit a few months later. It left us feeling the same, only now we were channelling Philip Marlowe. We were onto something. Something fishy. Something not quite right. Like a pack of Revels that are entirely coffee creme. So we went one more time. And then, finally, we were sure. Sure that St Leonards is not a good restaurant.
Every time we’ve been to St Leonards we’ve entered confidently, like a drunk getting in the wrong Uber, before leaving disappointed, like a drunk getting out the wrong Uber. This disappointment is never solely because of one so-so meatball sullying a lunch. Or a table of Thomas Pink shirts prattling through your dinner. Rather, it’s these things and more. All at once. Average atmosphere, average service, and, more often that not, average food.
The menu at St Leonards doesn’t need an explanation, but you get one anyway. Snacks, raw bits, shellfish, stuff cooked on fire, sides. You’ll order a £9 clam in Sichuan oil because you don’t know what a £9 clam in Sichuan oil looks or tastes like. It looks like a clam. It tastes overpoweringly of Sichuan oil. A plate of grilled vegetables is also underwhelmingly truthful to its name. Irony is not on the menu at St Leonards. Just try their fish finger sandwich. It may well be what’s fishy about this place, because it literally (and unpleasantly) stinks of Billingsgate.
There’s no shame in being confused here, because this is a confusing restaurant. For every delicious plate of beetroot and black garlic, there’s a 35 minute wait for a tepid piece of £24 hake. You’ll rave about the crunchy XO cabbage, and then wonder why nobody is able to advise anything beyond “a medium red” from a very proper wine list. Red or black. Good or bad. This restaurant is a gamble with little reward.
But after a while, you will understand St Leonards. The food is miss, and sometimes hit. The service is mainly miss. And even the space, which is big and airy: bar area at the front, dining area at the back, feels bafflingly subdued when full. That’s this restaurant to a tee. It’s swings and roundabouts. And once you’ve realised that, you’ll understand that some things aren’t worth trying to get.
Food Rundown
Clam, Sichuan Oil, Coriander
Pork Skins
Fish Finger Sandwich
Leek, Almond Cream, Truffle
photo credit: Karolina Wiercigroch
Beetroot, Black Garlic, Walnut, Creme Fraiche
Celeriac, Duck Offal, Cherry
Vegetable Plate
Lamb Rib, Salted Cucumber, Burnt Honey
Sausage, Tomato, Pepper
Lamb Caillette, Split Peas, Pork Fat
Hake, White Beans, Trompettes
photo credit: Karolina Wiercigroch