Consequences are overrated. We know you’re always meant to think of them, but, sometimes, you just shouldn’t. Some things in life are better off without consequences in mind. Like nights out till 3am. Or relationships that start on a night out till 3am. Or, eating a nearly £40 portion of fish and chips at Kerridge’s Bar And Grill.
Kerridge’s is a V12 Rolls Royce of a restaurant. It’s big, luxurious, uneconomical, and really quite fun. The room, part of the Corinthia Hotel, is all oxblood leather and arbitrary golden statues. It feels a bit like a classic Hollywood movie. As in, it’s the kind of room you could imagine Joe Pesci going all Joe Pesci in: grabbing someone by the hair and repeatedly smashing their face into a £35 lobster omelette, before calmly buttering a piece of treacle soda bread whilst a faultless waiter silently cleans away the yolk covered body. That though would be a terrible waste of the most expensive (but worthwhile) starter you’ve had in some time. Because as broke as this omelette may make you, it’s a seriously rich and satisfying way to start your meal.
The rest of your meal is defined by how easily you’re able to live in the moment. Pig cheek pie with clotted cream mash tastes and feels like a week’s worth of very satisfying naps. But you can’t stop there. You need to go hard here, not go home and nap. Because even though your bank balance will regret it, you won’t. A meal of lobster omelette, fish and chips, and banana soufflé will cost you around 85 quid without service. It’s the world’s most expensive three course meal that’s also entirely beige in colour. But, you know what, it’s kind of worth it.
Really, you want to treat Kerridge’s like a big, I-left-my-morals-in-that-empty-gin-bottle, night out. And you want people here with you, because it’s always more fun to write off reality with others. And also, there’s a reason this place is filled with five person plus booths and round tables: it’s meant for you all to be excessive in, to order cocktails with silly names and omelettes with silly prices, and to not worry about the consequences.
‘Awright treacle?’ is not not what you’ll say when this bread is in front of you. It’s warm and a bit sweet, and very good.
A risotto? Without rice? It’s just a lot of mushroom cut up real small instead. What a maverick. The risotto tastes nice enough, but it’s the duck egg inside a case of fried potato hash sitting on top of it that you’ll remember.
Our idea of decadence generally extends to a candlelit bath, a glass of supermarket wine, and iPlayer balancing on the bin. But this £35 omelette has changed the game. It’s really good.
This is a cute pie. It looks like a pig snout. It fits in your hand like a cricket ball. But don’t let that fool you. This is also a serious pie. Rammed full of meat. Brimming with molten pig juice. Launch this thing at someone and it could do some damage.
Fish and chips, give or take, generally cost around the £10 region. Plus a pound or two for peas and gravy. This is about three times more expensive. Is it three times as good? Probably not. But still, this is nearly as good as fish and chips gets.
A nice piece of beef and some more of those chips. The chips are really quite good here. Good chips and good condiments.
You may think you’re full by the time it gets to desserts. You’ll be thinking wrong. This dark chocolate pudding will make sure of that.
If chocolate isn’t your thing, then you’ll also find room for this banana soufflé. It’s tastes a bit like boozy Angel’s Delight, which is an excellent combination.