Right lads, we bring you another titillating annual London production of Getting Pissed On A Sunday. The rightful greatest weekend of the year, the August bank holiday comes with big expectations and the inevitable sensation that all of your plans are going to get cancelled because the weather refuses to briefly reset to the Ibiza climate our heart’s desire. Rude, so rude. But before you enter existential dread over wasting those precious hours of work freedom, read this guide instead. We’ve got fun things going on indoors and outdoors, exhibitions, plus one for the sugar heads everywhere, an actual ice cream festival.
Help Hot 4 U Raise Funds for Afghanistan
Hot 4 U will be turning over all the profits from their residency at the Prince Arthur in London Fields on Sunday to UNICEF’s Afghanistan Appeal. There’ll be an oyster bar out front, pink fir salads, and salt cod croquettes coming out of the kitchen, and a BBQ serving up burgers, suckling pig, and BBQ peas and labneh from 12pm to late.
Burgers, Burgers, and More Burgers at Vinegar Yard
Forgive us readers for we have sinned. We’re about to utter three words we promised we’d never speak. National burger day. Yes, we’re aware that every type of food, mammal, and overpriced cocktail now has its own special day, complete with its own cynical sponsorship deal. Generally, we say treat them like an ex’s birthday and tell yourself encouraging things like ‘what is a day really? What even is time?’. Okay, Proust. But this year we have to acknowledge National Burger Day (Friday 27th) because in celebration, feelgood open-air spot Vinegar Yard is hosting what is effectively a best London burger crawl. The meaty line-up includes Nanny Bill’s, Baba G’s, Bleecker, Black Bear Burger, and a Neil Rankin Symplicity burger for any vegans. There’s a daytime and evening sitting, tickets are 12 quid, and you get a couple cans of lager included. If the weather’s decent, then grab a couple rum cocktails between burger bites too.
Get in the Carnival Spirit With Black-Owned Hackney
There’s no Notting Hill Carnival this year, but the monthly Black-Owned Hackney event at Bohemia Place Market is returning on bank holiday Monday for a Carnival Edition special. Head over between 1 and 8pm for street food, DJs, steel pans, plus hard slushies, clothes, and stalls selling products from Black-owned businesses. Get free tickets here.
Catch a Live Recording of Our Favourite Adulting Podcast
It is our moral duty to disclose that once whilst listening to the Nobody Panic podcast we laughed so hard on public transport that we spilled coconut water on a toddler’s head and felt genuine glee that their mum didn’t notice. We’ll hold the rest of our Why We’re Very Bad People anecdotes for a later date, but please know that the hosts and certified comedian babes, Stevie Marten (love) and Tessa Coates (also, love) are recording their podcast live at Underbelly Festival this Saturday. The podcast has covered everything from How To Cope With Whatsapp Groups to How To Decorate When You Have No Taste, so you should expect some witty adulting tips, big laughs, and some deeply relatable anecdotes. Tickets start at £15.50. Oh, and FYI the Cavendish Square location is a casual five-minute walk from one of our favourite new restaurants, Sidechick.
A Brewery Tour and Beer Tasting
Usually going on a brewery tour on a Saturday would be a recipe for a two-day hangover that results in a Monday morning spent cradling a bag of McDonalds, triple-checking that your camera is off on Zoom so you can just sink four McFlurrys in peace. But a brewery tour on the Saturday before a bank holiday Monday? A frankly genius and entirely risk-free move. Kraft Dalston are doing £25 tickets that will get you a tour of the German Kraft brewery, plenty of brewing process facts, and a fun, boozy tasting session with their in-house sommelier. Tickets are selling quick but there’s still some availability for the early afternoon sessions, so get booking fast.
A Final Chance to See These Funky Paintings + Brixton Bites
As somewhat cultured pervs we’re generally on board with any exhibition that states ‘please note, these paintings contain nudity’. But in the case of the Christina Quarles: In Likeness exhibition at the South London Gallery we can merrily state that her collection of abstract, large-scale nudes are genuinely empowering and packed full of bright colours that will make you feel all the feelings. Once you’ve done some proficient head-tilting and intrigued arm-folding in Camberwell, head for Brixton Village’s Best Bites of Brixton food festival for everything from jerk chicken to big burgers.
Go to an Ice Cream Festival (!!!)
We think that the government should abandon the silly British Citizenship Test (honestly we don’t know which king was executed in 1649, and frankly we don’t want to) and just ask welcomed newcomers if they’re up for eating ice cream when it’s raining instead. After all, that is the true mark of our nation. Come rain or shine, Covent Garden is hosting their annual Covent Garden Cool Down ice cream festival this week. There’s freshly baked cookie sundaes from Crosstown. There’s a blueberry lavender number from creative ice cream connoisseurs, Bears. And there’s a 99% likelihood of finding us somewhat pissed and leant against The Little Orange Van eating Aperol spritz lollies at 2pm on Saturday. If that doesn’t sell it, we don’t know what will.
Watch Princess Nokia & Friends on a Boozy Monday
Imagine the emotional highs of screaming along to ‘I don’t give a damn and I don’t give a fuck’ with Princess Nokia on the day of the week that is usually reserved for weeping over presenteeism and sending ‘cba’ messages to your mates. Glorious. An iconic way to spend your bank holiday Monday, Princess Nokia, Machine Gun Kelly, Playboi Carti, and more are playing at Alt London festival on Clapham Common. We expect some quintessential British festival debauchery so start your day with a proper stomach-liner brunch at Balham’s Apple Blue Café. Get the fried chicken-loaded Dutch Baby waffle situation. We repeat, get the Dutch Baby.
