El Bandido Mex Mex Grill

There’s no valid reason to ever come here unless you’re on a date with someone you secretly hate. If you bring them to El Bandido, there’s a chance they’ll never talk to you again if they chip their teeth on the too-hard rice. The dining area looks like someone threw a rager and forgot to clean up (there is occasionally broken glass on the floor). Tables hold only a few stragglers—those who either stumbled in by accident or former merfolk who sold their taste buds to a sea witch. If you're in Little Five Points and craving Tex-Mex, just head next door to Elmyr for food that doesn’t taste like it was cooked three days ago.