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Hoexter’s is a temple to all things old-school Upper East Side. The plates have the restaurant’s name on them, servers take your order with a pen and paper, and there’s a section of the menu dedicated to digestifs. The owners, who are also behind Flex Mussels, revived their family's ’70s-era Hoexter’s Market, so these time machine nods feel appropriate as opposed to theatrical. And though the American bistro food isn’t pushing any boundaries, the classic experience won’t let you down when you want to talk smack with a neighbor over some French onion soup.
Hoexter’s is the sort of place that might have gotten raves in a monthly neighborhood bulletin, dizzy with the recent discovery of cooking cheeseburgers by smashing them into a griddle. The menu is full of hits from an earlier era, which should be a relief to anyone sick of hearing about gels or emulsions. Once in awhile a dish really works—a seared duck breast brought up warm memories of dinners with grandparents—but for the most part, things like roasted half chicken with spaetzle and oyster mushrooms, or Faroe Islands salmon, feel paint-by-the-numbers. Maybe that's by design. Certainly, your food won’t distract you from your tablemate's immaculate gossip.
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
As a social club, Hoexter's has its charms. Up front, there’s a lively bar where people drink martinis. The middle area is loungier, with flannel jacket wallpaper, and the back dining room is our pick for a meal, with a skylight and posh Victorian stars and moons on the walls. Here, cocktails and 82nd Street gossip flow like water, and servers squeegee scraps off the white tablecloths, pretending they’re not listening.
Unlike most things at Hoexter's, the prices have kept up with the times. Depending on your choice of fish eggs, you could spend $250 on just caviar and potato chips. We'd stick to heartier options, like the pungent and indulgent gorgonzola garlic bread ($18), or a citrusy whole branzino ($44). Even if the best thing about the food here is that it's comforting, Hoexter's is a great spot to celebrate the end of a hard week, or meet up with your family before going to a cocktail party in the neighborhood. If you have dirt to dish, bring a friend and talk loudly. Chances are, the news will spread back to whoever you want to hear it.
Food Rundown
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
Gorgonzola Garlic Bread
You’ll smell this as soon as you walk into the dining room at Hoexter’s, because there’s generally one on every table. If you like blue cheese, you’ll be into this, but it is a little on the soggy side.
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
Steamed Artichoke
Simple, and an excellent vehicle for mayonnaise and lemon. It’ll require some work, but it’s worth ordering if you like eating with your hands.
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
Shrimp Cocktail
Nothing out of the ordinary, but a pretty dish that’ll remind you of how much you love shrimp cocktail.
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
Duck Breast
Our favorite of the main dishes. Beautifully seared duck breast, tart gooseberries, and crispy fingerling potatoes. This is the kind of dish that hits us right in the memberberries.
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
Roasted Half Chicken
A perfectly fine dish, but it feels a bit too much like very good home cooking for a spendy night out. The best part of this were the roasted hen-of-the-woods mushrooms soaked in chicken juices.
photo credit: Alex Staniloff
Lemon Tart
This dessert was equal parts ooey-gooey and puckeringly tart, and for that, we love it. If you have room for dessert, this should be the one you choose.
