Ducasse Sur Seine

Most dinner cruises get away with meh food thanks to front-row views. But if you must eat on a boat in Paris, make it this one. The fancy two-hour voyage begins and ends across the Seine from the Eiffel Tower, during which you'll dine on approachable fine dining menus ideal for tourists who like the idea of fancy tuiles and flowers but don't want to have to Google every ingredient.

You can choose from a three- or four-course set lunch (starts at €105 per person) or four- or five-course dinner, and pay when you book. Once onboard, it's hard to forget where you are. You’ll sit at a white-linen-topped table on a chair cushion emblazoned with a greyscale city map underneath the ceiling’s silver wave motif with views from every seat. Despite their tweezer-applied flourishes, flavors are familiar: Roast Guinea fowl with mustard jus has all the comfort of roast chicken in gravy, and soft-boiled egg with comté emulsion has major egg florentine vibes. The wine is ludicrously expensive, but it'll be hard to say no to a glass of Champagne. After all, you're dining on the Seine.