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The Fainting Goat

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Fainting Goat is exactly the type of place you’d expect to find on U Street, in that if you told someone 15 years ago that you’d be paying $20 for raw scallops down the street from Ben’s Chili Bowl, they’d have thought you were crazy.

You’ll find all the things you’d expect of a place like this: Dimly lit, well decorated space? Check. Men who perpetually set their beard trimmer to “smoky?” Yep. A cocktail list full of ingredients you didn’t think could be liquified, like kumquat? Yessir. Tinder/Hinge/Ok Cupid/Farmers Only dates happening left and right? Ohhhh you betcha (well, maybe not the last one).

And that’s why you’d come here, for the vibes, not necessarily for what you’re going to eat. The food isn’t bad, but it isn’t the highlight of its resume. That would be the drinks. The first time we saw the drink menu, we proclaimed we would rack up too high of a tab and drink too much in far too short of a time-span. And you know what, that’s exactly what happened. Your plan here should be similar, and order a few appetizers (excuse me, “small plates”) to help soak those drinks up.

Food Rundown

Goat Cheese Fondue

As you might imagine, goat plays a more prominent role on this menu than it has on any since that T-Rex in Jurassic Park got loose. Smoky with a little bit of a kick, a good bet if you’re here with friends. Maybe skip it if you’re on a date.


Our favorite item on the menu. Perfectly roasted and drizzled with a dark fish sauce. Show the other trendy people in the room that you care about your health by ordering this.

Roasted Mushrooms

Maybe they shouldn’t have named this place after an animal, as all the best dishes are veggie-based. Pureed into a paste, this won’t fill you up but is a good starting point.

Scallops Crudo

At the risk of sounding too obvious, these can get a little “fishy,” The salty potato chip on top does well to cut that, but don’t order if you can’t handle a strong fish flavor.


Cut like a deli meat and served with goat cheese and greens. The meat alone is fairly bland, but the supporting cast elevates it to “passable.”

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