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Review

Nate Watters

Unicorn

$$$$
Written by
Nate Watters

Stay far away from Unicorn if you wanted a chill night discussing politics. This place is a mystical carnival-themed sensory overload where you eat corn dogs, play arcade games, and knock back cocktails that have names like “Americorn” (loaded with bubblegum vodka, high fructose corn syrup, and other things your dentist will have to deal with later). If it’s someone’s birthday, order them a unicorn jizz and make them wear “the hat” (AKA a bedazzled baseball helmet with a two-foot-long horn hot-glued to it). Just be warned: the rowdiest skee-ball tournament we’ve ever witnessed and someone falling face-first into a pinball machine has happened here, and you can expect similarly ridiculous debauchery whenever you go.

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