Slice House (by Tony Gemigniani)
Pizza in Soma
- Perfect for
- Wasting Your Time and Money
Written byMax Child
We're not averse to spending money on a good meal. As is well-documented, we believe in quality, and sometimes quality costs money. But there is a line to be drawn in the sand — a rubicon that must not be crossed. On one side of the line lies "pricey but worth it," and, on the other, "simply ridiculous."
Slice House (by Tony Gemigniani) crosses that line. It obliterates it. It steps over it, and continues miles deeper into the desert, where even the hardiest camels die of dehydration. There may be worse deals in town, but we've never felt so cheated as we did by the $6 slices at this supposed House of Slices (by Tony Gemigniani.)
Let's answer your basic questions first:
1. Are the slices big? Sure. 2. Can you get them with cheese, or with pepperoni? Absolutely. 3. How do they rate? Just above Domino's, well below Round Table.
While consuming this utterly D-grade pizza, a nonstop stream of expletives and angry exhortations rolled through our minds. Sentences like, "this is f*cking criminal," and "these slices would be a bad deal at $2," and "Tony Gemigniani is perpetrating grand larceny on the people of SF, or, at least, anyone unlucky enough to randomly wander in here and not know better."
You know how Business Insider writers incessantly whine about $4 toast at The Mill? That toast is f*cking AWESOME. If anyone's looking for a true symbol of wanton Silicon Valley froth, Tony Gemigniani is serving it right up.
This restaurant is genuinely offensive.
A bargain at $5! Kidding, you could get two plain slices from nearly anywhere else, and the pizza would assuredly be better.
We would say the 25¢ extra for a meat topping is a deal, but we're way past anything that could be called that.
An extra buck for some sickly-sweet tomato sauce and a total lack of balanced flavor. Not just the worst deal of the lot, but the worst slice of the lot.