At The Infatuation, we sometimes fall victim to superlatives. Sometimes we call something “the best” when it’s really only in the top 3, or maybe just a matter of personal taste. Sometimes we say “you can only get this here,” when you can really get it at five other places, and we were too lazy to do the cursory late-night Google search to figure that out. We’re all human, right? We all get a little over-excited sometimes.
But really, kids, La Taqueria is not the best f*cking burrito in America.
We can say that definitively because we, ourselves, have had a lot of better burritos in San Francisco. In fact, you could focus on a ten-block radius around La Taqueria and find at least five better burrito-slingers.
Don’t try to tell us “you ordered wrong,” or “you caught them on a bad day,” or “quality has fallen since Nate Silver anointed them since they can’t handle the attention.” We have ordered many things. We have been on many days. We went several times before the 538 business and stopped going, because it just wasn’t that great. And yet, in the spirit of charity and goodwill and utter confusion at a national publication going to great lengths to name these guys
1, we went back again last week. La Taqueria continues to be not that great.
The emperor has no clothes.
Maybe we’re being too harsh. If so, it’s only in response to the hoopla. It’s not like this place is terrible. They serve perfectly serviceable Mexican food. But nothing really pops. The meat is cooked properly, but lacks any kick-ass seasoning. The beans are average. The salsa, in fact, is remarkably bad. It’s from the school of “let’s chop some tomatoes and call it a day.” If you dig tomato water, you will love it.
Here’s the problem: there is no scenario in which we want to go to La Taqueria. Looking for drunk food? Farolito. Best hole in the wall? Taqueria San Francisco. More upscale ingredients? Papalote. There is no problem that La Taqueria solves, and we will thus continue not to go.
The steak is one-note and a little watery. Tastes kind of like the salsa, if we’re being honest. Shouldn’t steak be bringing stronger game to the table?
The pork was solid but not exceptional. Otherwise this was a completely standard burrito. Where’s the magic? What do people see in this burrito? I am saying with complete sincerity: you could put this in a line-up with the carnitas burrito from my 2am college joint and I would not be able to tell you which is which. I guess that’s a testament to the college place.
Like the other two, this has a bit of a water problem. As in there’s too much on the inside of the burrito. The appropriate quantity is none.
These are indeed served here. They are fine. The same decent meats are wrapped in smaller corn tortillas. You get the picture.