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Greens Restaurant

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Greens, man. If this isn’t one of the most SF restaurants in existence, we don’t know what is.

To quote Wikipedia (yeah, yeah, we’re getting lazy), Greens is a “landmark” that, according to another publication, “brought vegetarian food out from sprout-infested health food stores and established it as a cuisine in America.”

So, good on them.

But unless you’re a culinary historian (please, god, we hope you’re not), Greens’ achievements of yore mean little when deciding, today, in 2015, if you should eat here.

The answer is yes in two specific cases. One: if you’re looking for brunch on a nice day in a great location. In cloudless weather, Greens is magical. The bay breeze blows, the giant windows let the sun in, and you start vaguely considering what it might take to buy a boat.

Two: if you’re vegetarian. Like most vegetarian restaurants we’ve been to, the food is solidly “pretty good for vegetarian!” It’s not that we don’t like vegetables, but vegetables-pretending-to-be-meat often comes out a bit odd. It’s cool that you made potatoes and tofu into a kebab (“brochette”), but we’d really just like a kebab. With like, lamb or something.

Greens, like most legends, is beyond reproach. But they might be mailing it in these days.

Food Rundown

Pinnacles Scramble

Kind of a crazy take on huevos rancheros — half eggs and half beans over tortilla. Not bad, not killing it.

Potato Griddle Cakes

Look, we ain’t gonna complain about fried potatoes. Which is what these taste like.

Jalapeno Corn Bread

Just a tiny bit short of that moisture level needed for cornbread perfection. So close.


We eat a lot of ear pasta, and most is better. This is decent, though.


A skewer of vegetables! Points for creativity, points subtracted for the meat-imitation uncanny valley. Try something else.

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