What’s the opposite of “run, don’t walk”? Take your sweet time? Crawl, if you absolutely must go at all? Whatever it is, that’s the speed with which you should head to NoChe in Rittenhouse. The 2nd floor cocktail bar—backed by the Harper’s Garden and Rosy’s Taco team—has a list of $18-$23 drinks, scarce wine offerings, and unimpressive small plates like cheese boards, lamb meatballs, raw bar options, and bland conservas. Ultimately, nothing here is memorable, outside of how the low-lit space feels more like Dracula’s basement than an intimate night out. If you choose to stop by, do so while waiting for a reservation at literally any other place in the area, and get the mezcal-based Naked and Famous cocktail before heading (quickly) elsewhere.