photo credit: Noah Devereaux
The Brooklyn Barge
Summer in New York City is the greatest. There are free movies and concerts (not like you’ve gone to one since the summer you moved here, but still), you can bike or walk everywhere (not like you take any fewer cabs, but still), and it’s socially acceptable to order a frozen negroni at 11am.
But summer in New York City can also be the absolute f*cking worst. You constantly feel the need to shower, you’re certain that every tourist is conspiring to make your commute as painful as possible, and you’re constantly assaulted by a haunting combination of sewage and garbage smells.
Which is why, during the summer in New York City, you look for places that make you feel like you are somewhere else. Somewhere away from the smells. And all the other sweaty humans.
The Brooklyn Barge is one of those places. After a couple drinks on this barge/bar/restaurant on the East River in Greenpoint, you can close your eyes and almost believe you’re on your own private boat (more speedboat than yacht, but still). But you won’t even want to do that for long, because the Manhattan skyline views are so good.
So good that we’re willing to mostly overlook The Barge’s faults: it’s cash only, the prices are higher than they should be, and the bar food - while totally acceptable - isn’t anything to write home about. But for its ideal setting, and the fact that it’s somehow not yet completely mobbed, we can forgive a lot.
You could easily come to The Brooklyn Barge to eat a full meal and be satisfied. But honestly, you won’t have to. Get yourself a hot dog, get yourself some alcohol, find a seat, and you’ll be happy as a golden retriever wearing sunglasses. If and when you get really hungry, there’s always Paulie Gee’s around the corner.
Just when you’re ready to give up on this sweaty, garbage-smelly black hole we call home, The Brooklyn Barge is here to remind you that this is actually a pretty amazing place to be.
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We always pick the cheeseburger, but in The Barge’s case the hot dog is actually the correct answer. This dog is substantial (1/4 pound) and grilled to perfection.
The tacos are probably the best thing you can eat here. We like the chipotle pork, and the grilled fish is also surprisingly good. Go ahead and get handsy with the salsa verde.
Old Bay Fries
How much you like these fries is directly proportional to your level of intoxication. Hard pass if you’re sober.
These mini burgers taste like the kind you’d eat a friend’s barbecue. And to us, that’s a good thing. What’s not a good thing is that they cost $16 for two burgers you could easily eat in two bites.
Crispy Chicken Sandwich
More chicken cutlet than fried chicken, this is a fine bet if you’re on the hungrier side. And a much better use of your $16 than the sliders.