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Tavern On The Green

This is probably something of an unfair pile-on at this point. Tavern On The Green 2.0 has been absolutely destroyed by the New York media, and although part of us didn't want to get involved, our experiences were so painful that they had to be shared. Don't just take it from me, let's check in with my fellow diners, old school Zagat style, and create a consensus.

"Andrew, dear, did you look up who the chef at this restaurant is yet? They must not be qualified. I should teach them my brisket recipe." - Grandma

"Aside from the fact that there was a live worm in my salad - it was way too salty and completely inedible. A green salad." - My Wife

"It was simply awful. My chicken was green, and looked diseased." - Uncle David

"I would have loved it to be better. Is that OK? I want to give it a positive spin, I don't like being negative." - Mom

"It was fine. I got scallops on bread, which was weird, and tiny and some other thing that was small. I was starving afterwards and got Chinese food." - 17 Yr Old Cousin Charlotte

"It reminded me of the cruise we took to Northeast Canada." - My Brother

"I asked to switch the bread on the sandwich and the waiter snarled at me. I wanted to snarl back when they gave me a very cold, very sad turkey club." - Ariel Feldman

"They took cat food, slopped it on a plate, put pepper on it and called it tuna salad." - Ariel's Mom

"My pasta might have been good except for the fact that it was drowning in burnt ricotta, which tasted like campfire marshmallow, but not in a good way." - My Wife

"There's an expectation level that comes along with Tavern On The Green from an overall service perspective, and they don't come close to it. They limped along all night, and it's clearly a restaurant that wasn't ready to be open. I'll never come back here, which is sad." - Grandma

So, yeah, the consensus seems to be, don't come here, unless you're someone who likes terrible food. Oh, and three weeks after Governor's Ball, our server was still wearing his VIP wristband. He was a nice guy and all, but come on man. It's time to take that thing off.

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