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4.1
NYC

Pulqueria

You know what, maybe it's not fair for us to judge a place like Pulqueria. I'm 100% sure that we are not the clientele this place is after. Neither of us are 22-year-old models, nor are we the people trying to have sex with them. On the other hand, it's supposed to be a restaurant, not just another Chinatown cocktail den like Apotheke, the other joint these people own. Sounds like fair game to us.

Pulqueria is basically a carbon copy of La Esquina Brasserie in Soho. It's a subterranean space that looks like some kind of Mexican dungeon, and there's a lot of drunk people in it. But the food at Pulqueria isn't nearly as good, and it's in Chinatown. I imagine it's perfect if you love to eat chips and spend a lot of money on cocktails with cilantro in them, but for us, this is just an exercise in misery. The music is loud, the service sucks, and this place might as well be selling guacamole like night club bottle service. Everything is really overpriced, and even if you spend the money, you still get treated bad. At one point on our first visit, we asked the waitress to split our check into thirds on three credit cards, and she brought over a calculator and told us to do it ourselves. Really. That happened. I guess it's not cool to split the bill. But we've got a tip of our own for Pulqueria about not being cool. You know what doesn't go with the word "hot spot"? The word Groupon. I wonder how that waitress managed when a whole bunch of people showed to cash in their $60 meal. At least there weren't any fractions involved.

Food Rundown

Guacamole

Your standard house mashed guacamole, a la every trendy Mexican restaurant in this city. You'll want one on the table to keep you from going hungry.

Taco De Lengua

I'm all for a good tongue taco, and this one is actually pretty well done. It's got a nice flavor and it's too tonguey in consistency. But these things aren't worth $11 for two. None of the tacos here really are...

Verduras Tacos

This is a vegetarian option that's one of the stronger things on the menu at Pulqueria. Inside the tacos is grilled cactus and poblano peppers, and they're tasty.

Pescado Tacos

These fish tacos get beat by pretty much every other one we've had in this town. The grilled tilapia is a little bland, and the pico de gallo doesn't do much to counteract that.

Carnitas Taco

Dry carnitas are no bueno. These made our mouth hurt. No thanks.

Enchiladas Suizas

In places like Texas, you'll see these enchiladas on a lot of Mexican menus. They're basically smothered in a tomatillo sauce, and I f*cking love them. Points to Pulqueria for having one on the menu, but these enchiladas weren't quite what I'd hoped. They were a little bland, and the tomatillo sauce was a strange consistency.

Esquites

This is a tiny jar of corn off the cob. If you are ordering this as a side for the table, order one for each person. Just kidding, don't do that. They're seven bucks each.

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