I recently went to the Upper West Side to eat at a restaurant, and I have good news. I found a place in this part of town that doesn’t absolutely suck, and I also found out that nachos are considered health food. Turns out I’ve been on a diet for years.

If you’ve never been to Peacefood Cafe, this is probably new and confusing information to you. Don’t worry - we’ll clear things up.

If you have been to Peacefood Cafe, not only are you probably rolling your eyes at my sarcasm (or what I prefer to call meat eater’s wit), but you are also likely annoyed by the fact that we just figured out that this place exists. I will apologize for exactly one of those things.

For those not yet indoctrinated into the cult of Peacefood, let us get you up to speed. This restaurant has been operating since 2009 under the mantra that “awareness of non-violence can be spread through feeding people with delicious vegan food.” I have absolutely no idea what that means, but I will say that I felt a warm rush of non-violence flow through my body when I found out that they have nachos on this menu. Like, real, delicious nachos, with real chips and absolutely no sign of ingredients that could also be used to make rope. I also felt significantly less combative when I realized that almost all of the vegan food in this place is quite tasty, though I will admit that I did not eat any of the thing they call “un-chicken.” Just couldn’t get there.

Either way, mission accomplished, Peacefood. I am peaceful and I am satisfied.

Food Rundown

Chickpea Fries

A staple item on the Peacefood menu, these chickpea fries are really more like chickpea bricks, in that their flavor, size, and density would make them an ideal foundation for a vegan’s dream home. Order some, and dip them in a mix of agave and hot sauce (your sever can provide both).

Peace Bowl

A giant bowl of brown rice, served with your choice of vegetables. Our favorite combo is Japanese pumpkin + cauliflower + sautéed bok choi. Go in on this with some sriracha to compliment the ginger dressing and you’ll be stoked. Stoked and really full.

Macho Nachos

As far as we can tell, the only difference between this plate of nachos and the one we get at the dirty bar near our house is that the cheese on the chips isn’t really cheese. News Flash: The best kind of nacho cheese has always been fake nacho cheese. So I’m glad we’re on the same page there.

Fluffy Quinoa Salad

A giant salad of quinoa with baby greens, avocado, sweet peppers, corn, and all kinds of other stuff. It’s good and it’s healthy. You’ll see a lot of these on the tables around you.

Green Thai Curry

A very solid curry with tofu. Thai and Indian flavors are common here, probably because they can make pretty much anything taste good.

Key Lime Pie

A raw key lime pie that is probably a good substitute for the real thing if you can’t eat cooked food or gluten or whatever other poisons are in real key lime pie.