Paradou is permanently closed
Making fun of the Meatpacking District is almost too easy. Whatever, we're going to continue to let it rip until some sort of order is restored. Although our [perfect_for slug="chronic-brunch"]Chronic Brunch[/perfect_for] ideals don't necessarily line up with the Meatpacking's booze fueled table dancing scene, we're always down to check places out with an open mind. We did some research and came to the conclusion that next time we were in the area and looking for early weekend eats, Paradou's [perfect_for slug="outdoor-patio-situation"]Outdoor/Patio Situation[/perfect_for] was the call. The lesser of many evils, Paradou is nowhere near as in-your-face awful as many of its neighboring monkey cages. By Meatpacking standards, Paradou is a quaint little French bistro.
Some restaurants require multiple trips to figure out. Paradou isn't one of them. We had this place pegged the second we were led into the back garden and offered the "unlimited champagne" brunch special. What is it with Meatpacking and waiters in ridiculous sunglasses? I guess I shouldn't make fun, this guy hustled us hard. We bit on his sell of the $29 all you can drink champagne brunch. "If you're getting a drink and entree anyway, it's only an extra $5 for free refills and our Paradou is amazing. Totally worth it" he explained. In a moment of embarrassing weakness, we folded like tourists. When in Rome err Paris, right? Let's booze. He neglected to mention that this Paradou punch tastes like ass. I made better tasting jungle juice in college.
Luckily the food is better than the ParadouX, although that's not saying much. Standard bistro brunch fare is how it goes down at Paradou. Not bad, and after five glasses of champagne, probably incredible. For a Meatpacking boozy brunch, the scene here is reasonably tame. It's not the crazy party atmosphere we expected and there are definitely better places to go Laugh At Euros In Crazy Outfits. Paradou has its fair share of fashion offenders, but most (not all) appeared to come to Manhattan via train or bus, not airplane. It's not a place we'd go back to, but hey, if you need a reasonable option in Meatpacking, you can do much worse than Paradou.
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As previously mentioned, the ParadouX is gross. Go with another one of their fruity "champagne cocktails." As for the food, we definitely enjoyed some of the descriptions on the menu. Paradou's wordplay is well executed. Like, how could I not order The Wake & Bake? "Creamy Polenta, Two Eggs Sunny-side, Andouille Sausage, Topped with Gruyère Cheese Just What You Need After an Evening of....Fun. Makes You Feel Good All Over!!!" Well, it wasn't all that. The dish overall was super dry, but that didn't stop me from cleaning my plate. The French Toast was average. We're not sure if they're trying to be funny with the whole Really Big Burger thing, because it's not big at all. It's served on a panini and while it's actually pretty damn good, it's not "The Best Damn Burger in Town, Bar None" like the menu suggests.