There are a lot of things in life that don't make sense. Like putting ketchup on your hot dog. Like Comedy Central letting John Oliver leave. Like the NY Knicks' entire existence. And like this "California Kitchen" in the middle of Little Italy called Genuine Superette.
There are so many things that don't make sense about Genuine Superette, but let's start with the location. This restaurant is right next to a place that sells cannoli and gelato to tourists. The "new" roadside diner theme might be less out of place on the Lower East Side or a few blocks up in Nolita, but here it looks like somebody stuck a Walmart in Colonial Williamsburg.
Next, there's the food. Simply put, it's awful. From inedible burgers to greasy chicken sandwiches to bad french fries to salads that we're pretty sure were assembled by a team of toddlers, there's really no shortage of ways to build a bad meal here. Have it your way! Even in the middle of a weekday afternoon when this place is otherwise completely empty, we've found ourselves waiting long periods of time for someone to finally serve us a tray full of food that they clearly do not care about. It almost has the feel of a restaurant that nobody is managing - as if those salad-assembling toddlers are actually also the ones in charge and it's always nap time.
When you look at the sum of all the mixed up parts, this place isn't working. The general premise of a reasonably priced burger/sandwich/salad hangout center isn't bad, but it goes wrong in so many ways. In addition to the aforementioned food problems, the whole ordering process is problematic. Superette has gotten our order wrong more than they've gotten it right. The people behind the counter don't seem to know much about the menu, and while they're plenty nice and accommodating, that doesn't go too far when the two salads you ordered come with half of the wrong ingredients. As with most of the stuff that goes on here, it simply doesn't make much sense.
Superette certainly is genuine - genuinely not super.
When Genuine Suprette's original restaurant first opened in Gotham West Market, we remember having a tremendous fried chicken sandwich there. Needless to say, we were looking forward to eating Superette's. Unfortunately, although they appear the same on the menu, Superette's is nowhere near as good. It's flimsy, flavorless, and sort of just tastes like fried nothing.
This burger is pretty much inedible, which I didn't even think was a thing that occurred in nature until now. First of all, it's a huge sloppy mess of stuff piled on top of the patty, which is probably great for photos but is fundamentally bad for eating. Even worse, the patty itself was either one of those frozen death discs they serve you at the snack hut at the beach, or it was just designed to have the exact flavor and texture of one. Please bury this abomination somewhere until its half-life is over.
Tuna stuffed tacos that are plenty tasty. In the unlikely event that we ever find ourselves back here, we'd probably order these tacos, although the serving size is very, very small.
When cooked appropriately rare, this is the best thing on the menu. A simple filet of tuna with spicy slaw on a soft potato bun hits the spot. However, when it's overcooked to medium, which has also happened to us, it's ruined. So good luck.
These cold, cardboard-like french fries can also get buried with the burger.
Heavily breaded, thick spears of salty fried pickle. These we're OK with.
OddFellows makes excellent ice cream, so the fact that these custom OddFellows ice cream sandwiches at Genuine Suprette are not excellent speaks volumes about this place. The ice cream is pressed into some kind of brioche bun/pita of sorts, but they're served whole, not cut in half like shown in the photo, so they are very hard to eat, and completely fall apart in your hand. As good as they sound on paper (and look in this photo), you'll want to pass and stick with scoops.