You will feel a few things upon walking into by CHLOE for the first time. The first thing you will feel will be a sense of unease as you survey the situation. No matter what time of day it is, there will be a huge line to place an order at this counter-style vegan restaurant that people lose their gluten over. There will also be a Hunger Games-esque competition for a seat, except in this game of survival, there are no weapons, only bitchy glares, and everyone survives because it’s actually going to be FINE.
After those emotions pass, the next thing you’ll feel is a state of wonder as to why more people aren’t opening restaurants like this. In many ways, it seems so obvious to simply set up shop in a small space, buy some shit from Anthropologie, and start selling vaguely healthy food to a city of people who clearly want it. Why isn’t there one of these on every corner? Maybe because making a meatless meatball that doesn’t taste like wet newspaper and throw up isn’t as easy as it might sound. Serving a vegan ice cream that’s actually worth eating is grounds for a peace prize.
And such is the genius of by CHLOE. Opened by (you guessed it) Chloe Coscarelli, a studied vegan chef and cookbook author who until now was best known for winning an episode of Cupcake Wars, this is most certainly the best vegan restaurant in town/maybe the world. For all of the other “healthy” hot spots out there, by CHLOE is the one that actually makes this food seem the most like something you actually want to consume several times a week, rather than just that one time your most annoying vegetarian friend asked you to out to dinner.
What you’ll find at by CHLOE is casual setup serving excellent salads, very good veggie burgers that look like they could easily have come from Shake Shack, and fries that could not have because they’re actually good. And yes, we just said fries. Turns out those are vegan, too.
See how easy this is? We told you it was going to be fine.
A very satisfying salad that you can easily make a meal of, assuming you’re comfortable with the fact that you’ll have no idea what 8 of the 9 ingredients in the bowl are. Let’s just go with tacos. They’re all tacos.
This salad actually tastes like one you might have at your dinner table, and that’s a good thing. So often, kale salads end up being “that thing you eat with your pumpkin seeds” rather than a simple bowl of greens with croutons. Eat this.
As classic as a burger gets when there’s no meat in it. This will not satisfy a hamburger craving, but it will satisfy a “something on a bun with pickles” craving. Either way, it’s good.
We’ve eaten this “burger” three times and still have no idea what it’s made of, but we do know we like it. There are definitely avocados involved.
Turns out no amount of sorcery can make noodles covered in fake cheese taste like noodles covered in real cheese. This is the only dish on the menu that we’ve been disappointed with. Skip it.
Being humane to animals does not mean you can’t be mean to a bowl of noodles. PUNISH THEM.
This is actually passable for a real meatball sandwich, in the way that most meatballs are somewhat passable for meat. The tomato sauce is really good, as is the bun, and that’s sort of all that matters.
Why is there kale in this? This vegan ice cream is a f*cking modern marvel of human innovation, and now you have made the least interesting thing about it the thing everybody talks about. You can’t even taste the kale. All you taste are cookies and cream and it is MAGIC. The kale part is all marketing.