Somewhere out there, bouncing from satellite to satellite, there’s CCTV footage of you eating the same burger 300 times. And there’s a chance that footage has made its way to an alien world, where you’re widely known as “boring dinner human thing.” Rough translation, but you get our point. Go try a different burger. We've had these ones, and they're all worth eating. They're the best new burgers in NYC, updated for spring 2017.
This burger is lighter than it looks. When you pick it up, you assume it was designed for West Village residents who want something kind of unhealthy after spin class. The bun is brioche, the onion rings are tempura-style, and the patty is actually pretty thin. It doesn’t weigh much, but halfway through you’re still going to get that same feeling that all good burgers give you. Sort of like climbing up a mountain, one you’ve always wanted to climb, although you didn’t realize how difficult it would be to breathe. It also gets extra points for whatever spicy sauce it has, but you should know that it's only available at brunch.
Maybe you had a rough week. Maybe you’ve been eating nothing but turmeric and kale for a week. Maybe you just want to remember what it’s like to live fast and loose. Pig Bleecker is an ideal place to go when you’re ready to do some intentional damage to your body. And while that can take the form of everything from a whole fried chicken to brisket ravioli, the burger is your nonstop flight to pleasuretown. It’s two patties, cheese, pickles, a whole lot of grease, and a big pile of McDonald’s-like fries.
Loring Place is the new-ish restaurant from the guy who made his name cooking very tasty vegetables at ABC Kitchen. And while there’s no shortage of vegetables at Loring Place, one of the best things on the menu is actually the burger. It’s a thick patty with bacon, cheese, and a special spicy sauce - plus thick-cut fries. Dining solo? You would not be doing yourself a disservice by rolling up to the bar here and just ordering this.
When you want to branch out, get a burger at Hart’s. It’s a lamb burger, and they give you the option of adding anchovies. Do this if A) you don’t hate anchovies and B) you don’t mind smelling like a dolphin-feeder at sea world. The anchovies are intense, and it’ll taste like the fanciest tuna sandwich you’ve ever had. If you’re scared of anchovies, enjoy a plain burger. You’ll find that cowardice also does not taste bad.
Pretty much what you expect from Union Square Cafe. Actually, if you had the burger at the original Union Square Cafe, it’s exactly what you expect. (It hasn’t changed.) This is a great burger, and it isn’t too complicated. It comes with cheddar and bacon, and the bacon might be the best part. This is a tough place to get a reservation right now, but you can always come by during lunch and eat one of these burgers at the bar. You might then fall asleep at your desk, but you will have good dreams.
There are basically two ways to go about a meal at Sauvage: order a bunch of things that all look like fancy salad, or order the burger. While most of the food at Sauvage looks like museum food, there’s nothing dainty about the burger: two patties, lots of cheddar, and some kind of cornichon relish thing that will probably only appeal to people who really like cornichons (if you’re not in that camp, they’re easily removable). The big bowl of fries it comes with is very respectable, too.
A go-to Brooklyn spot for excellent beer just became a go-to spot for excellent beer and burgers. The burger off Tørst’s new (and first) full food menu is fast-food style: compact, squishy, addictive, and consumable in about five bites. We would not not tell you to get two. Or just get one burger and one hot dog and revel in the glory of America (while drinking in a Scandinavian beer bar).
One of our favorite places for a mostly-healthy lunch in downtown Manhattan, Lighthouse Outpost also happens to make a killer burger. And while it’s obviously not doing you the same kind of favors as, say, their big salad or roasted eggplant, it is the perfect-sized burger for lunch consumption - super satisfying, and won’t make you feel gross afterwards. The cheese and jalapeno combination on this one is what makes it a standout.
One of our favorite burgers in America comes from a Chicago place called Au Cheval, and 4 Charles Prime Rib is a new restaurant in the West Village by the same people. It's not the exact same, but it's similar, and extremely enjoyable. Getting a flight to Chicago might be easier than grabbing a reservation here before 11pm right now, but the dark, underground space is actually very suitable to late night meat-eating.
This is like an In-N-Out burger, but with a bigger budget. There are two patties, the bun is soft, and it’s equal parts beef and sodium. Also, cheese everywhere. It isn’t pretty, but it tastes great. And since this place is a “meat and three” concept, you can pick three sides to come with it (at dinner). There are 20+ options to pick from, and a few of them will make you feel better about eating this burger. Sautéed spinach, grilled asparagus - get something like that, and that sounds like a pretty healthy dinner.