Can you help me find a first- or second-date spot where I can avoid sharing my dietary restrictions so I appear like a “chill gal who will eat anything.”
- A Wannabe Chill Gal
Hey Wannabe Chill Gal,
Thanks for writing in. A more wholesome advice column from yesteryear might begin with a declaration that anyone worth dating should embrace and accept every detail of you from the get-go.
But the writers of wholesome advice columns from yesteryear didn’t live in isolation through a pandemic, and could therefore not define the phrase “the thirst is real.” The point of this first-or-second-date is not to spend upwards of thirty minutes explaining the origin story of the gluten, soy, or dairy product that makes you sh*t your pants. The point of this date is to get laid (or recklessly make out on the sidewalk or pursue whatever your version of intimacy looks like).
After that, I’d encourage you to proudly communicate all of your dietary needs, bowel movements, and the like.
To play the role of “chill gal who will eat anything,” choose a bar with a wide-ranging menu of snacks. Bars are chill by default. Even just suggesting a bar over a restaurant oozes chillness. Plus, bars present fewer opportunities for your dietary restrictions to weasel their way into conversation, since you won’t have to order a full-on meal.
As for a particular bar with good food, I suggest you employ the same technique that celebrities use to get their children admitted into Ivy League schools. In other words, cheat ahead of time and don’t tell your date. Leyenda in Carroll Gardens has their entire Latin menu posted online, complete with allergen details listed below every single dish so you can plan your order before you even get there. The menu notes what ingredients could be substituted, how a dish could easily be made vegan, and any cross-contamination that may have happened in the kitchen.
And if you’re nowhere near Carroll Gardens, you’ll find a ton of other bars with good food listed here. From one Wannabe Chill Gal to another, I’m rooting for you to get laid...or find someone to take turns doing laundry with, or whatever it is you’re looking for.