photo credit: Brinson Renda

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Joia Beach


South Beach

$$$$Perfect For:Wasting Your Time and Money


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Joia Beach is a restaurant and beach club located on Jungle Island, a small slice of land between Downtown and South Beach. The space does literally occupy a beach (although a tiny one) and it has a pretty great waterfront view. However, that’s really the only good thing about it. Everything else—from the uncomfortable wooden furniture to the predictably awful pop-house soundtrack—is essentially Tulum cosplay. Could you have fun here? It’s possible. Ridiculously sceney Miami day clubs have their time and place, we suppose. If you do end up here, just expect an overpriced and vaguely European menu, below-average cocktails, non-optional $20 valet, bad service, and an excessive amount of white pants and wide-brimmed hats.

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