Joia Beach is a restaurant and beach club with a good waterfront view - and not much else.

Ch’i is a bad restaurant in Brickell that comes with a heaping side of cultural insensitivities.

Prince Street Pizza is an over-hyped pizza spot from NYC. They’re located in an outdoor food hall in Wynwood.

Christy’s is a Coral Gables steakhouse with disappointing food and a really strange aesthetic.

Mila is a Lincoln Road rooftop restaurant you should avoid at all costs.

Los Fuegos is an expensive, over-the-top steakhouse in Mid-Beach that isn’t as interesting as it looks.

Juvia is a rooftop restaurant in South Beach where the only good thing is the view.

Hutong is a flashy Chinese restaurant in Brickell with a high-tech interior and underwhelming food.

Big Easy is a pretty random and unremarkable South African restaurant inside the Brickell City Centre.

PM Fish is a strange, expensive Argentinian restaurant in Brickell where there’s really only one thing on the menu worth eating.

Swan in the Design District is overpriced and incredibly pink, but can be useful for certain situations, like seeing a celebrity.

Barton G. is a grossly expensive restaurant that serves bad food alongside ridiculous props.

Strada is a below-average Italian restaurant in Coconut Grove that’s too expensive and not good for much.

Chotto Matte is an expensive Peruvian/Japanese restaurant on Lincoln Road that’s not worth your time or money.