South BeachSouth of Fifth
Papi Steak is an awful South Beach restaurant perfect for burning through cash before you’re indicted by the FBI.
October 4, 2023
Red South Beach is a South Of Fifth steakhouse that doesn’t do enough to earn a spot among the top tier of Miami steakhouses.
February 13, 2023
Elcielo is a boring tasting menu restaurant in Brickell that isn’t worth your time or money.
September 8, 2022
Marion is a Brickell clubstaurant you should avoid.
Nossa Omakase is the most expensive omakase in Miami. It's also the worst.
August 9, 2022
Salvaje is a strange rooftop clubstaurant that isn’t good for much.
June 24, 2022
Pummarola Coral Gables is a casual Italian restaurant with multiple locations in Miami.
May 23, 2022
Komodo is a sceney Brickell restaurant with a pretty disappointing (and expensive) menu.
March 15, 2022
Hutong is a flashy Chinese restaurant in Brickell with a high-tech interior and underwhelming food.
January 14, 2022
Joia Beach is a restaurant and beach club with a good waterfront view—and not much else.
Okami is a Design District Nikkei restaurant that you should avoid at all costs.
PM Fish is a strange, expensive Argentinian restaurant in Brickell where there’s really only one thing on the menu worth eating.
Swan in the Design District is overpriced and incredibly pink, but can be useful for certain situations, like seeing a celebrity.
Strada is a below-average Italian restaurant in Coconut Grove that’s too expensive and not good for much.
Los Fuegos is an expensive, over-the-top steakhouse in Mid-Beach that isn’t as interesting as it looks.
Barton G. is a grossly expensive restaurant that serves bad food alongside ridiculous props.
Chotto Matte is an expensive Peruvian/Japanese restaurant on Lincoln Road that’s not worth your time or money.
Crust is a strange Italian restaurant on the Miami River with pizza that isn’t very good.
March 2, 2020