Mila is a Lincoln Road rooftop restaurant you should avoid at all costs.

Los Fuegos is an expensive, over-the-top steakhouse in Mid-Beach that isn’t as interesting as it looks.

Juvia is a rooftop restaurant in South Beach where the only good thing is the view.

Big Easy is a pretty random and unremarkable South African restaurant inside the Brickell City Centre.

PM Fish is a strange, expensive Argentinian restaurant in Brickell where there’s really only one thing on the menu worth eating.

Swan in the Design District is overpriced and incredibly pink, but can be useful for certain situations, like seeing a celebrity.

Barton G. is a grossly expensive restaurant that serves bad food alongside ridiculous props.

Strada is a below-average Italian restaurant in Coconut Grove that’s too expensive and not good for much.

Chotto Matte is an expensive Peruvian/Japanese restaurant on Lincoln Road that’s not worth your time or money.