So, it looks like your birthday is going to be a quarantine birthday. We know that’s probably not how you planned this - unless you are one of those people who really hates birthdays - but you can still organize one hell of a takeout dinner to celebrate. Hopefully this guide can help you with that, whether you want to have an at-home taco party, stone crabs on the couch, or a serious amount of pie.
Wynwood’s KYU has always been a great restaurant for a celebration. And even though you can’t gather a group of friends to meet you in their dining room right now, KYU’s takeout menu is very fitting for a special occasion at home. A lot of our favorites from their regular menu are available to-go, like the whole roasted cauliflower, Korean fried chicken, and the massive beef short ribs. Order all of the above and have enough leftovers to make your birthday a month-long. You can also get some cocktails if you order pick up.
Little Havana’s Cafe La Trova is back open for takeout with a big online menu that has their very delicious empanadas, new sandwiches, and big plates like lechon and whole fried snapper. You really can’t go wrong with anything on the menu here - just promise us you’ll order their pre-batched daiquiri, which is available in 64-ounce portions in case you’re really trying to celebrate. Order online and throw on some Celia Cruz when it’s time to eat.
We’d still order from Balloo even if the only thing they sold was their spicy Thai micheladas, which are our favorite micheladas in the universe. But what makes this place truly worthy of a birthday celebration is the food. Their menu changes often, but you can see the most recent version on their Instagram. Chances are there will be some excellent dishes like butter chicken, coconut rice, braised oxtail, and more very good things you won’t find in many other kitchens around town. They’re delivering on Uber Eats, or you can call for pick up at (786) 534-2768.
Taquiza has takeout options worthy of most special occasions. If you’re celebrating with a few roommates, get their DIY taco party kit, which comes with your choice of protein, tortillas, elote, quinoa salad, garnishes, and hot sauce. The taco spot, which is currently offering takeout from its North Beach location, also has margaritas to-go and is selling their blue masa, in case you want to make birthday tortillas at home. Order online.
Joe’s is never a bad call for a blowout meal involving martinis and seafood, especially now that you won’t have to wait at the bar for two hours to enjoy those things. Just call them at (800) 780-2722 and go pick up your claws and key lime pie when it’s ready. If you really want to recreate the Joe’s waiting experience, have your parents and all their friends put on something from Tommy Bahama, drink three daiquiris each, and then hop on a zoom call with you.
Maybe you were planning on having a backyard cookout for your birthday. Or maybe you’ve just been having very vivid dreams about ribs recently. Either way, Hometown Barbecue is the birthday meal you deserve. The Allapattah spot does big hunks of smoked meat better than anyone else in South Florida. Order a beef rib, wings, and brisket online, or catch them on Uber Eats. They’re delivering all the way to Miami Beach.
For some, birthdays are just the one day of the year when they get a chance to eat as much sugar as possible. If you’re one of those people, Fireman Derek’s Bake Shop is here to help you become 40% pie. The very indulgent bakery (with locations in Wynwood and Coconut Grove) is accepting takeout orders. Get a simple key lime pie or a not-so-simple chocolate peanut butter pie (which you can also order in milkshake form). Or get both. And then maybe some cookies too. Yeah, you’re going to need cookies at a time like this.
Ariete is one of the best restaurants in Miami, and if you just want something delicious to celebrate another year around the sun, order from here. Their takeout menu has some of their greatest hits, like the chug burger, venison, and the pastrami-style short rib. But this is one of those places where you can order anything with confidence - especially the phenomenal candy cap mushroom flan, which will look very cute if you stick a candle in it.
Do you just want an entire pizza for your birthday? Well, good. You deserve it. And if you want one of the best in Miami, go for Lucali. They don’t normally do takeout, so you should take advantage of this opportunity to get one of their pies in your living room. These pizzas are a perfect hybrid that combines all our favorite parts of thin-crust with New York-style, and it’s all topped with a big bouquet of fresh basil. They also have a dessert pizza with nutella if you couldn’t locate a cake in time. Find them on Uber Eats or call them at (305) 695-4441.