Perfect For: Outdoor/Patio Situation Wasting Your Time and Money

Do you know what the dumbest product in the history of the world is? Caffeine Free Mountain Dew. Regular Mountain Dew is disgusting, to be sure, but it serves a very clear purpose. It provides caffeine in large amounts, very quickly, in a form that is at least a little more palatable than coffee (don’t get me started on f*cking coffee). But somewhere along the line, some idiotic product developer at PepsiCo thought, “Why don’t we serve the same thing, but remove the one thing people loved about it?” Malo in 2014 is the Caffeine Free Mountain Dew of, well… Malos.

So what’s the caffeine in that completely apt comparison? Malo Mondays, their dollar taco night and the only reason anybody gave two sh*ts about Malo in the first place. Take that away (which they did) and you’re left with a “hip” Mexican restaurant that costs twice as much as it’s actual tasty competitors.

Whether it was always meant to be a limited time thing, or if it just became so enormously popular that the costs outweighed the benefits (the place was dead pretty much any day but Monday), you really can’t kill the one thing that set you apart. That is unless you’re prepared to replace it with something ELSE to set you apart. Unfortunately, our latest trip proved that the partially revamped menu isn’t going to do the trick.

Food Rundown

Ground Beef & Pickle Tacos

The star of the menu, back before the death of the dollar taco. The tartness of the pickle is an unexpected and utterly delicious addition to the spiciness of the beef and salsa. So naturally, they changed the recipe. Is that little chunks of potatoes in there now? Can you get them out? Please?

Echo Park Corn on the Cob

In an attempt to stop venting here, let’s highlight what was good. This has a good spice to it, not too messy, and a good amount of cheese.


These are damn good. There’s no way around it.

Salsa Flight

Four different salsas take your typical pre-meal snack up a notch here. Oh wait, this is gone from the menu now? But it was so good! Welp, there’s no lack of Mexican restaurants in the area. Let’s go somewhere else. Goodbye, Malo.

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