Laurel Hardware

Oh Laurel Hardware, you’re such a beautiful girl. There isn’t anyone who looks better on a Saturday night and that means a lot to you. But like so many other bombshells walking around Hollywood, we only wish you had a bit more going on upstairs.

Opening a few years ago by people who probably still shower to John Mayer, Laurel Hardware gets its name from the longtime hardware store that previously occupied the space. (SO sick, right!?) Basically within hours of opening, it became the go-to hotspot for sceney West Hollywood revelry. And make no doubt about it, this sh*t is young Hollywood gold. A sleek interior hidden from the public eye, a menu chock full of things that white girls recognize, and a crowd that’s somehow even more gorgeous than its surroundings. What more could you want?

For starters, fully cooked food and a waitress who will return to the table at some point. Everything at Laurel Hardware is served cold and not in the delicious, gazpacho type of way. Your server simply forgot your food in the kitchen while she was busy updating her Tinder profile and now it's your job to figure out if any of your french fries are salvageable. Because your burger definitely is not.

At this point, you’re having a terrible time but at least it's at the portion of the evening where the more recognizable faces from porn begin to arrive and you get that second wind. The drink service at Laurel Hardware is actually pretty decent, so barrel through a few fun cocktails and get out because by 10:30pm the place feels like a sponsored spill-over room at a Kylie Jenner product launch party.

We are not worried about Laurel Hardware though. She has more friends than she knows what to do with and many solid years left before the looks start to fade. We just hope that her inevitable reinvention is smarter than the original.

Food Rundown

Classic Cheeseburger

How many times can they screw this up? All of the times.

Market Fish

Don’t even think about it.

Seared Scallop

Laurel Hardware’s famous Rubber of The Sea!!

Baby Kale Salad

A masterclass in throwing lettuce on to a table saucer.

Shrimp Ceviche



These will at least not kill you, but check your dental plan prior. You’re gonna be chewing that dough for awhile.


Fine. You can have these.

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