Barton G

We respect a restaurant that commits to a bit, but when that bit gets to a point that you’re worried for the actual well-being of the waitstaff, it’s time to reconsider. Tableside presentations at this La Cienega restaurant, the LA location of an over-the-top Miami spot, include blaring boomboxes, four-foot-tall busts of Marie Antoinette, and ribs that come out on a lawn mower—all of which are heavy, awkward, and shakily hauled by servers. Some of this is fun, but as the night progresses, it becomes clear why these props exist: to distract you from the inedible food. The most unsettling aspect of the place, however, is the sheer amount of children here, all celebrating birthdays near drunk women in tube tops and other grown adults who think they’re clubbing. But Barton G is not a club, it’s a Cheesecake Factory for people with more money than sense, and one of the most deeply uncomfortable dining experiences in the city.