The Ivy Restaurant

The most famous restaurant in London isn’t Sketch or Sexy Fish, or even the feral Tottenham Court Road McDonald’s. It’s a restaurant that even your 14 year-old cousin in Somerset will have heard of because they’ve spent some quality time with the sidebar of shame. It’s The Ivy, of course. But once renowned for Kate Moss sightings and best-in-class treatment, it’s now somewhere that primarily survives on reputation. The glossy, crushed velvet-clad dining room is still permanently packed with beautiful people who have a penchant for truffle, but the service has taken a sharp nosedive. You might have to wait an hour for your water or repeatedly beg for a triple-figure bill, even though you’re still triggered by the entirely beige, flavourless nature of the twice-baked cheese soufflé. If your heart is set on sipping champagne in the presence of an original Eduardo Paolozzi installation, stick to the satisfying signature cheeseburger. But in the name of all things celebratory, don’t come here for a special occasion. There are much better, and much more reliable, options in this part of London.