Mount St. Restaurant

Once you look past the Picasso on the wall, the Frank Auerbach behind you, and the silver butt plug-shaped salt and pepper shakers on the table, Mount St. Restaurant is a totally normal place to eat. The Mayfair restaurant is all about looks. Even the beautiful, multi-coloured, terrazzo floor is a work of art, and everything from to the vibrant red chairs to the thick-rimmed glasses sitting in them oozes not cool, but Coutts. Although the show-stopping thing about this snazzy restaurant isn’t anything from the kitchen, you have to ask yourself—how often do you get to eat triple-cooked chips while staring at a Matisse?

Mount St is an aesthete’s dream. Unsurprising, given it’s from the people who own Hauser & Wirth gallery. During the day colours bounce from every surface, the room is filled with easy-going lads and ladies that lunch. Signet rings lift pots of tea or sausage sandwiches and, for a lazy couple of hours, it feels more like a public gallery than a private one. Come evening, things are a little different. Typically—for this part of the art world anyway—it’s also filled with lots of suit-types. Numbers are racked up on plates of impeccable sirloin steak with chips and béarnaise sauce, and bigger ones are spoken about at the table. Like all galleries, this one is best in the daytime.

photo credit: Aleksandra Boruch

photo credit: Aleksandra Boruch

photo credit: Aleksandra Boruch

When it comes to the food, a statement lobster pie for two that’s just under £100 is almost too rich, but it suits the champagne-popping surroundings, and things like HP hollandaise sauce with bubble and squeak potatoes show there’s still some levity at play. Kind of. But things do stand out. The omelette Arnold Bennett is a decadent, gooey, and cheesy mix of smoked haddock and egg. It’s a classic, and so too is the beef tartare. It’s these familiar faces you should be ordering. Of course, any restaurant with servers who point to a small Lucien Freud oil painting of prawns when you ask for more details on a starter, isn’t exactly down to earth. But that’s because Mount St. Restaurant is meant to make you feel like you’re at the very top.

Food Rundown

photo credit: Aleksandra Boruch

Omelette Arnold Bennett

Named after the novelist Arnold Bennett who requested the chef at the Savoy make him the most unhealthy (and therefore delectable) omelette in history while he lived there—which is very much a vibe, we know—this is eggs, béchamel sauce, smoked haddock, and a mound of cheddar grilled on top. Or, rather, it tastes like something that will either make you weep from happiness or keel over from a coronary.

photo credit: Aleksandra Boruch

Beef Tartare

A mix of deep reds, accents of purple, flashes of green, and a golden orange orb on top—this tartare could easily hang on the walls but instead it's on the plate. Tartare is all about balance and this one has it down to a tee. It’s slick, slightly acidic, and smooth as anything when mixed together. The butter-fried crisps of toast it comes with are also excellent.

Lobster Pie

This pie may as well be listed as ‘Twitter bait’ on the menu. It comes in at just under £100, is served with the lobster’s head in the middle of the pastry à la The Temple Of Doom and, after a few bites, will have you crying out for some biting lemon or vinegar to cut through it. It’s certainly nice, but it’s certainly a bit much for two.

photo credit: Aleksandra Boruch

Loin Of Highland Venison, Braised Haunch

Haunch is, for all intents and purposes, a posh word for arse. Let us tell you, this is one of the finest arse spring rolls we have ever eaten. The venison haunch is slowly cooked, shredded, and then rolled in between a crispy pastry cigar. Dipped into the bog-coloured, deeply flavoured gravy, it is a delight. The venison itself is perfectly pink and perfectly cooked. It’s a unique dish, but it’s a very well executed one.

photo credit: Aleksandra Boruch

Bubble & Squeak With HP Hollandaise

Deep-fried potato with a novelty-sounding but delicious-tasting hybrid of condiments. What’s not to like?

photo credit: Aleksandra Boruch

Soufflé

As is the case with most of Mount St.’s menu, the classics are where it excels. The soufflés are no different. Whether it’s blackcurrant and liquorice or banana with rum raisin ice cream—it’s a fittingly artful way to end your meal.