Love Triangle is permanently closed
If you’ve ever participated in the delicate British art of watching EastEnders, you’ll know that love triangles tend to be messy. But there is another type of love triangle out there. A better one, a tastier one, an edible one that doesn’t in any way involve Ross Kemp screaming. We are of course talking about the pizza slice. And there are few places in London that serve better pizza than this colourful and casual spot in Balham.
The first thing you’ll notice as you walk up Ritherdon Road towards Love Triangle is the smell of fresh dough baking. Treat yourself to a little sniff to whet the appetite. The second thing you’ll notice is that this place is really into the colour pink. A pink facade out on the large front terrace, pink delivery bikes, and pink merch t-shirts for locals whose Love Triangle infatuation has shifted to a full-time affair.
Inside it’s just as bright and colourful, with families crowding around midweek margheritas and smug solo diners enjoying an aubergine and feta number next to the heat of the huge pizza oven. Oh, and the pizza oven is decorated with large comic-book eyes which should be the only hint you need that fun, flour, and a feel-good playlist come before any pretentious faff here. Come the weekend, expect big groups of friends and frozen margaritas that officially set the mood to Pizza Party.
The pizzas in question are fantastic. We’re talking real hefty numbers that walk that thin line between fluff and crunch, primed for a romantic dip in a pot of house hot sauce. The toppings change regularly but the supreme dough and no-nonsense dining room stays the same. If you’re torn between the siren call of aubergine and feta or the charmed union of ‘nduja and scotch bonnet honey, know that you can always take matters into your own hands and add extra toppings. But no matter how much of a pizza connoisseur you think you are due to ramming Dr. Oetkers into the oven circa 2am, Love Triangle’s topping combinations are worthy of your trust. Even if you’re getting involved in a pizza topping that brings about more family divisions than adultery. Yes, pineapple.
One of the most popular and long-standing pizzas here is the hawaiian. If you’re about to close this tab, please stay with us. Forget everything you know about the h-word and replace it with charred pineapple, thick wedges of ham hock, smoked scamorza, and added sweet chillies. It’s textbook Love Triangle. Flirtatious fun meets quality meets creativity. You should always get involved with the spot’s limited-edition specials too—even if it will lead to heartbreak when it leaves the menu.
Pizza polyamory is inevitable here which is exactly why Love Triangle is perfect for those big group meals. That and the large outdoor terrace that has ‘share a bottle of orange wine in the sunshine’ written all over it. There are gluten-free options, vegan mozzarella, plant-based ‘nduja, and you can spend £25 and leave entirely satisfied. After a date night spot? As you might have guessed, as a restaurant that’s two-parts dough magic and one part casual fun, it’s also the kind of place you can head to for dinner à deux. Bring your partner for a weeknight pineapple schmooze rounded off with tiramisu. We have a feeling this is one love triangle they’re going to be on board with.
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Wild Garlic Pizza Bread
Love Triangle always has a classic garlic bread on the menu but it also always has some kind of seasonal tarted-up version too. We’re never going to be mad about eating something that combines butter, mozzarella, rich wild garlic, and pizza dough but ordering this will take up valuable stomach real estate. Save your appetite for the pizzas.
Pizza and beer is dead to us. We now only consume our carbohydrates with tequila-based beverages that will get us high on life, give us brain freeze, and procure the most violent of Sunday morning hangovers. It’s £8.50 and is poured from a giant slushy machine—what’s not to love? You can’t see us but we’re clapping. Only available on the weekend, sorry.
If you eat this pizza and still whinge about how fruit on pizza is ‘unnatural’ then frankly, you do not deserve Love Triangle. March yourself back to Pizza Express where you belong. The sweet chilli provides a juicy little kick, the scamorza brings the grown-up smokiness, and we could merrily eat a bowl of this tender ham hock on its own. Charring the pineapple provides genius additional smokiness. Order it.
‘Nduja And Olive Pizza
The scotch bonnet honey that comes on top of this is a revelation. The kind of revelation that will put a smile on your face even if your pizza claws (read: hands) are incredibly sticky and there’s a kalamata olive in your lap from enthusiastic ‘nduja lunging. One for anybody who knows that mixing sweet and savoury is a great idea.
Pancetta And Gorgonzola Pizza
You know what the richness of gorgonzola and pancetta demands? Fior di latte, that’s what. Order it if your general approach to cheese is more is more.
Aubergine And Feta Pizza
Another bog standard vegetarian pizza? Not on Love Triangle’s watch. The marinated peppers and chilli flakes add plenty of personality to the roasted aubergine, with a feta bonus so you have something creamy to go with your crusts.
Beef shin ragu, fior di latte, and parmesan make for a formidable threesome. The kind of pizza that alters your perception of time, space, and beef ragu and then prompts you to, say, write a review as a thinly-disguised plea to bring it back. This special is forever in our hearts. Love Triangle, if you’re reading this, bring it back.
Outside of gelato, this is the only dessert on offer at Love Triangle. Honestly though, you don’t need another option. A polite little portion for a fiver that comes topped with a chocolate powder triangle because, you know, branding can be fun. Not the best in London but if you require a hit of post-pizza caffeine and sugar, you know what to do.