Maggie. Jess. Rachel. Siobhan. Heaven. Lila. 

No we’re not utilising this prime review real estate to make a list of all the people we’ve forgotten to text back. They're some of the names written in looping biro on Casse-Croûte business cards that are plastered across the ceiling of this tiny corridor of a restaurant, each stamped with a flirty lipstick kiss. Romantic meals and tender moments over a towering mille-feuille immortalised in shades of peach, pink, and red. It is one of the many details that you will dutifully swoon over at this French restaurant. Put simply, Casse-Croûte is so charming it hurts.

On a corner of Bermondsey Street, it’s home to red and white check tablecloths, a blackboard menu with Garamond calligraphy, and inevitably, London’s highest concentration of Jean-Pierre Jeunet mega-fans. In case the abundance of decorative kisses didn’t give it away, this is somewhere for regaling and romancing. Air kisses between old friends who know the allure of the complimentary slap-dash baguette slices, and red wine anniversary kisses over a plate of saucisson and beaufort d’Alpage. Unless you’re perched on one of the five stools at the ornate wooden bar, you’ll sit shoulder to shoulder on the red banquette seating that offers our favourite kind of intimacy. The kind that lets you salivate over your neighbours’ perfectly pink boeuf en crôute before you order.

Every starter, main, and dessert on the daily-changing menu has the capacity to knock you into a butter haze. It’s the kind of rich food that deserves its own sensual audio description involving the word ‘dripping’. You might find milky cuttlefish bathing in a sizzling sweet tomato ragout on Monday, smooth ham terrine on Tuesday, and something blissfully nap-inducing like tender glazed rolls of sliced pork belly come the weekend. If Craig David’s 7 Days was given the Casse-Croûte treatment, the lyrics would involve a whole lot more circumflexes and the word gratinée on repeat. But whichever glorious meat, fish, or onion butter fest this bistro is dishing up on any given day, you’ll also be served a soundtrack of smoky ‘40s singers and saxophone solos. And if you’re in the mood, coupettes of sweet fizz.

See, we said Casse-Croûte was charming. 

Food Rundown

The menu at Casse-Croûte changes daily but here’s an idea of the kind of things you can expect.

Bread Basket

A complimentary sidekick that should be utilised for mopping and efficient plate cleaning. Fluffy and sliced, this baguette is fresh. No stale sidekicks here.

Ragoût De Seiche À La Tomate

There is something incredibly satisfying about using a slice of baguette to dig out chunks of milky, meaty cuttlefish, and then using your knife to leverage some of that sweet juicy ragoût on top. Hot tip for selfish people everywhere: a lot of those cuttlefish pieces are hiding at the bottom of the ragoût. Happy digging.

Palette De Cochon

It’s a startling fact of life that pork belly beauty competitions never really became a thing. Because look at this shiny glazed wonder, with its hypnotic, slightly sweet pork circles and bed of creamy mashed potato. The mustard doesn’t kick, but gently plays footsies with your taste buds for a lovely little warming effect.

Mille-Feuille

A ridiculous feat of double-decker pastry architecture that you must approach with respect, courage, and ideally, a full pack of Milkaid. Don’t be scared, the nutty chocolate and sweet vanilla crème pât will make all the pastry vs. spoon negotiations entirely worth it.

Île Flottante

Sweet enough to make your teeth hurt, this is a dessert that should exclusively be reserved for people who know how to go toe-to-toe with a family bag of Haribo. This sugar, sugar, and more sugar through the medium of meringues combination is exceptionally creamy so go ahead and share it. This is one meringue island you won’t want to go to alone.