LDNGuide

What To Order When It’s F*cking Freezing

Pies, soups, fondue kits and more delivery options that’ll keep you toasty until spring.
What To Order When It’s F*cking Freezing image

photo credit: Karolina Wiercigroch

It’s that magical time of year again. You know, when we enter a serious relationship with our SAD lamp and spend 18 hours a day saying ‘I’m so bloody cold’ whilst simultaneously refusing to put on a jumper. But rather than descending into a pit of frosty despair, order one of these delivery options that’ll warm you up in no time. There’s everything from a noodle soup meal kit to a fondue situation that’ll trick your brain into thinking you’re just on an extended ski holiday. See, you feel better already don’t you?

Heads up, unless stated otherwise all of these winter warmers are being delivered citywide.


The Spots

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Highbury

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Your order:The fondue kit.

Approximately one hour into winter we remember why Elsa from Frozen is so aggy. She’s cold guys, give her a break. She probably needs to trade her ice palace for a cosy little studio in Highgate with central heating and a fireplace. Alternatively someone needs to start delivering Provisions’ fondue to her pronto. This casual cheese shop and wine bar is doing foolproof fondue kits, and as an added bonus, a raclette kit too. We’ll take ten please.


Sussex

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Your order:The pork belly cassoulet.

In the immortal words of ice philosopher and rapper, André 3000, “What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold!”. But there is one thing even colder than ice cold André, and that’s a British winter without a slow-cooked casserole. British restaurant Sussex are delivering an oven-ready pork belly and English pulse cassoulet, topped with smoked cheddar and chorizo crumb. Somewhere out there Jamie Oliver definitely just screamed ‘pukka’. But if slow-cooked meats aren’t your thing, there’s also venison lasagna, boulangere potatoes, pie, and a crab thermidor we’ve got our eye on.


Your order:The chicken soup.

Winter survival comes down to two things, maximum heat, minimal effort. Or in our opinion, maximum heat, minimal chewing. Enter Ottolenghi’s soup, your classic chicken number made even better with the addition of Grana Padano cheese, grated tomato, garlic oil, and pasta. Mafalde in a chicken soup? Huge flex. All you’ll need to do is heat it up, and if you’re after more winter warmers they’re also doing pulled lamb tagine, spicy tandoori chickpea, and ricotta meatball ready-meals too.


Your order:One of London’s best fish pies.

Quick show of hands: How often do you think about mashed potato? Excluding people having dental surgery and those under the age of two, lots of us don’t think about mashed potato a whole lot in the warmer months. But like clockwork, come November 1st we start thinking about it incessantly. Mixed in with cheese, spooning some sausages, and all fluffed-up on top of a creamy fish pie. Good news, now you can get proper potato action at home, with Parsons’ fish supper meal kit that includes their excellent trout, prawns, pollock, and buttery mash pie. Delivery citywide.


Your order:The lasagne.

The Napoli Gang is a delivery service from the people behind Circolo Popolare and Gloria. If you haven’t been to either of those places, then just think of them as the trattoria party kings, specialising in XXL desserts, pizza, and using the word ‘sexy’ three times as much as any other restaurant this side of Vegas. And we love it. Their big ‘The One and Only Lasagne’ is officially ranked at number one on our winter survival list. Plus, they’re now delivering from Wood Green, Wandsworth, Shoreditch, Fitzrovia, Kentish Town, and Bethnal Green.


Your order: The zuppa di pasta e fagioli.

We’re not going to lie to you, spending 20 quid on a soup does feel a bit like you’re being mugged by some kind of Heinz pyramid scheme. But this isn’t just any old soup, it’s a Tuscan stew from world-renowned Italian restaurant, River Café. We’re talking borlotti beans, spiced pancetta, fresh herbs, pasta, and vegetables for two. For entirely essential dipping purposes, you can get the signature focaccia from their online shop too.


Your order:A beef-heavy biryani.

A big biryani is just the thing for when your browsing history reads like a memoir entitled ‘The Endless Quest For The Perfect Weighted Blanket’. And you know what, some lamb chops fresh from the oven won’t hurt either. You’ll find both at the Ambassador General Store - the online shop from the people behind Brigadiers, Gymkhana, and Trishna. They’re delivering everything from pork cheek vindaloo to butter chicken wings across London. Pop them in the oven. Serve once sizzling. Cold spell conquered.


Your order:All of the udon.

Are you desperately unhappy with your job, partner, and the entire universe? Or are you just cold? This is the question we all must ask ourselves once we hit frost season, and the only way to truly answer it is by getting involved in a big, steaming bowl of udon. Koya makes our favourite hand-pulled udon noodles in London, and now you can enjoy them at home as part of their Big Night Box. Expect hot delicious dashi, homemade pickles, and for your mood to go from ‘meh’ to perfectly content and cosy.


Your order:The Sunday roast (read as: all the gravy).

Now, we’re just theorising here, but we’re pretty sure that our nation’s karmic retribution for months of dark, cold, crippling misery is the roast dinner. Sundown at 2pm, but gravy every Sunday - swings and roundabouts really. Thanks to top pub the Marksman, rather than faffing about with a meat thermometer you can just get your big roast delivered. If that wasn’t enough, they’re also delivering braised beef and winter truffle pies, plum crumble, and curried lamb buns. Don’t live near Shoreditch? No problem, their delivery range is 8 miles. Did you just picture Eminem eating a Yorkshire pudding? Same.


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Your order:Pie, confit potatoes, more pie.

Whether you’re a devout lover of pumpkin spice lattés or spend the entirety of December confused as to why humans don’t have the good sense to hibernate until spring, confit potatoes are a good idea. If you haven’t had confit potatoes before, you should know that it’s like a spud went to finishing school, and Quality Chop House do the best ones in London. Their online shop also has a selection of excellent pies - steak, ale, and stilton, we’re looking at you - as well as sticky toffee pudding.


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