Here’s a question we never thought we’d have to ask: how do you round off a week that has given us the piece de resistance of #cottagecore, Tom Daley knitting poolside at the literal Olympics? Sure, spamming his Instagram until he knits you a cardigan is one option, but this is London, there are new wine shops, self-proclaimed ‘camp small plates’, and a big Jamaican Independence Day party that need checking out. Onwards for the best ways to fill your weekend.
Scare Yourself Sh*tless, Then Drink Wine
Noël Coward Theatre
There’s nothing like a good ghost story to make you feel truly alive and rob you of your sleep for the foreseeable future. The latest play to hit the Noël Coward Theatre in Covent Garden is a supernatural tale called 2:22 starring Lily Allen in her West End debut. Frankly it looks creepy a f, and yet spending the afternoon (or evening) contemplating the afterlife sounds much less scary than wasting yet another summer day sat inside due to the rain. They’ve still got some £25 tickets available for this weekend. Plus, once you’re finished clapping and telling anyone who’ll listen about that time you ‘felt a presence’ on a trip to Butlins, one of our all-time favourite wine bars, Lady Of The Grapes, is just a casual five-minute walk up the road.
Watch The Olympics Outdoors, Then Get Your Rooftop On
There is nothing as humbling as watching actual Olympians channel years of practice and dedication into their sport. Except maybe witnessing your mate do four consecutive shots and then not getting a professional cleaning fee from that light night Uber. Both are very, very impressive. To get involved in the former, hit up The Spark at The International Quarter London in Stratford. They’re showing the Tokyo Games on a big screen on Friday and Sunday, complete with deck chairs. Once you’ve watched enough of the games to feel like your achy knees hurt by association, head for a bev or some nibbles at a local Stratford rooftop. Looking for big, boozy, and affordable? Opt for sourdough pizzas and chilled pints at Roof East. Feeling fancy? Slick seventh-floor spot Allegra is your guy.
Celebrate Jamaican Independence Day At Brixton Village (Or At London Jerk Festival)
It’s time to celebrate. More specifically, it’s time to celebrate Jamaican Independence Day with a fun line-up of musicians and food at Brixton Village. Not only should you make it your personal mission to try every single patty at Healthy Eaters and devour one of the truly epic combo platters from Eat of Eden, you should also be prepared to crack out your moves. They’ve got a line-up of DJs who are working in collaboration with VP Records, the world’s leading reggae and dancehall record label. Like all the best parties, you don’t need a ticket - simply turn up and kick things off with a Jamaican-inspired cocktail in their courtyard. Alternatively, there’s also London Jerk Festival going on in Hackney.
Find Out WTF A Pornstar Tartini Is
Ridley Road has a brand new restaurant that’s offering self-proclaimed ‘camp small plates’. Yes Please is the latest venture from the owner of glorious good times queer underground club, Adonis, and it promises to be an inclusive restaurant with a serious sense of humour. Case in point: there’s something called a pornstar tartini on the menu. We can’t tell you exactly what that is, but we’re very much willing to find out. Slide into their DMs to book a table.
Check Out London’s Newest (And Coolest) Wine Shop
Shrine To The Vine
We are suckers for a funky logo and absolutely powerless in the face of good wine, therefore we have zero hope of not spending some serious cash at Shrine To The Vine. A brand new wine shop and delivery service from the people behind Noble Rot magazine (and importantly, wine bar heaven, Noble Rot), you can now officially head here for everything from classic wines to more left-field numbers that have huge present potential for your vino-loving mate. Find them a couple doors down from their OG wine bar on Lamb’s Conduit Street, open 10am - 8pm Monday to Saturday. Oh, and if wine isn’t your thing, know that they’re also stocking magazines.