All the family indoors, eating, playing, and living together? What is this, Christmas? An unreleased Richard Curtis film? A particularly wholesome LSD trip? No friends, this is your imagination. Your optimistic fantasy. Because, let’s be honest, at this point you’d rather have a drink with your postman than play a game with the so-called ‘love of your life’ or worse, your ‘children’. Worry not though, because if there’s one thing that can bring everyone together (and shut everyone up), it’s a big family meal from one of the 20 places below.
Delivery Status: Londonwide delivery.
The problem with dinner time is that, realistically, time is different for everyone. The little ones who need to be fed by 5pm. The older ones who like to eat around 7pm. And you, who just wants to eat all the time. That’s the beauty of Ottolenghi’s restaurant-quality ready meals, you can just keep them in your freezer and heat them up when they’re needed. With a huge delivery radius, they have some ricotta meatballs we’ve definitely got our eyes on, as well as pulled lamb tagine, shakshuka, and confit tandoori chickpeas.
Delivery Status: Collection & delivery from Borough Market, Soho, and Hackney. Nationwide delivery on DIY bao kits.
Sharing is caring. Until it isn’t, and you want to throttle your own flesh and blood for eating the Lindt that you had been carefully and meticulously refrigerating to optimum chocolate temperature. You’ll have no such worries when ordering from Rice Error - the delivery service from Bao. Their rice boxes, with confit pork belly, mapo tofu omelette, kimchi prawn, and more - are all recommended for one. While their Taiwanese fried chicken buckets, or XO corn on the cob, can be divvied up. There’s even a kid’s fried chicken box too, and they’re also doing DIY bao kits too.
Delivery Status: Nationwide delivery.
Things like brick-sized sausage rolls and crunchy, creamy chicken and leek pies tend to keep everyone schtum for at least half an hour or so. At least, that’s what happens to us whenever we eat anything from the Quality Chop House. Their classic pies and confit potatoes are a perfect (and delicious) order for everyone. Plus there are changing desserts, and wine for those that need it most.
Delivery Status: Nationwide delivery.
What’s that noise? Oh, it’s silence. You might not recognise it as you’ve spent the past seven days in an audio abyss of ‘what’s the Netflix password’, ‘I hate you’, and ‘that was my Twix, you bellend’. But thanks to all round meat pros, Hawksmoor, you can now enjoy a little quaint family peace with minimal effort. They’re doing nationwide delivery on big family roasts including dry-aged roast beef, huge yorkshire puds, bone marrow gravy, cauliflower cheese, and all the other trimmings you’d expect.
Delivery status: Collection & delivery from Chinatown and Queensway.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, shuts up a ravid family quite like a whole peking duck. Replace squabbles, tantrums, and blistering remote control battles, with one of the world’s most beautiful sentences, ‘please could you pass the pancakes’. Four Seasons does a roast duck that’s so famous we’re surprised it doesn’t have it’s own publicist, and now, for the first time you can get it delivered or swing by their Queensway or Chinatown spots for collection. A round of pak choi and their wonton soup is also encouraged.
Delivery Status: Delivery within 8 miles of Chelsea.
The Wolseley for your mum’s birthday breakfast. The Delaunay for your grandparents’ wedding anniversary. Brasserie Zédel for a mildly alarming celebration of your sister’s dog’s graduation from puppy school. Yes, Corbin and King - the restaurateurs behind the above restaurants - have saved us from many a catastrophic family meal with their grand restaurants and classic, crowd-pleaser menus. Now you can get the same experience at home, with Zédel’s steak haché, the Manzi fish pie, and The Wolseley’s crumble all in one place. FYI they’re delivering celebration cakes and cocktails too.
Delivery status: Click and collect and local delivery from Peckham.
So it turns out that the number of times your child says the word ‘why’ a day is directly linked to the number of alcohol units you consume in a day. Go figure. A good idea is to also up your daily consumption to keep the whole family happy. Popular Peckham spot Mr Bao are delivering their fluffy bao, alongside some chicken dumplings and prawn crackers for them, and some panang curry and a Taiwanese peach beer for you. Big news for your freezer, you can order 20 frozen dumplings for later too.
Delivery Status: Collection and delivery to E1, E2, E3, E8, E9, E14, EC1, EC2, EC3, N1, N5, and N16. Nationwide delivery on DIY kits.
Every family needs a good old-fashioned pig out now and again. The kind that ends in buttons being undone, sighs around the table, and any stresses being mellowed by the soothing effect of beef brisket and mac 'n cheese taking up residence in your stomach. Smokestak’s weekend takeaway does a good job of all that. The Shoreditch BBQ spot is doing its juicy 15-hour smoked brisket, pulled pork, beef rib, by the 100g. Plus, rarebit mac ’n cheese, burnt end beans, and a perfectly nap-inducing sticky toffee pud.
Delivery Status: Collection and local delivery from Clerkenwell.
Fish. School of fish. Schools. Remember those terrible months when they didn’t go to school? Remember when you were 22 and only ate chicken nuggets of drunken choice rather than necessity? Stop sadly picking things off their plate and go for a big order from Fish Central instead. As well as the kid-friendly classics like cod and chips, this place is also delivering oysters, seafood spaghetti, and scotch salmon. And yes, you do deserve to order a bottle of champagne to go with those oysters.
Delivery Status: Huge delivery radius from Brick Lane.
When all hell breaks loose and three generations of family are talking about their preferred methods to silence each other - from the medieval mace, to an opium-equipped drone, to a good old-fashioned orange in a sock - then you’re likely looking at a very hangry household. Which is where the app from Brick Lane’s legendary Beigel Bake comes in. A solid order of salt beef, pickle, and English mustard beigels will placate all. Or, if that doesn’t work, get a load of smoked salmon ones, plus an array of chocolate brownies, shortbread, cheesecake, and strudel, to get those sugar levels back up.
Delivery Status: Collection and local delivery from Camberwell and Elephant and Castle.
This one goes out to all the iPads out there. You’ve increased your kids screen time from an hour to 24 hours. Good for you. It’s this or asking them to count the tiles in the bathroom again. We’d also like to shout out another lockdown saviour - pizza. Especially the big, best-in-London pizzas from Theo’s. They’re doing delivery and collection from both their Camberwell and Elephant And Castle restaurants, including their great margherita and tiramisu.
The Clarence Tavern
Delivery Status: Collection and local delivery from Stoke Newington.
The Clarence Tavern is the latest gastro-pub from the same people as the Anchor and Hope and The Canton Arms - two of London’s most family-friendly restaurants, ft. pints. The local delivery service from this Stoke Newington spot has crowd-pleasers like lamb pie, gratin dauphinois, salad, chocolate mousse, and treacle tart. There’s also a tonne of produce and nibbles to keep everyone going before and after.
Delivery Status: Collection and delivery from Tooting to local areas.
It’s Saturday morning. You just stood on something you desperately hope is honey, and either your partner, child, or mother-in-law is crying upstairs. Here’s hoping it’s the one you can console with an episode of Paw Patrol. Either way, it’s time to call in brunch reinforcements in the form of Juliet’s. This spot in Tooting not only delivers grilled pumpkin bread, fried eggs on sourdough, and some truly majestic looking scrambled eggs, they now do evening meal kits too. Plus, an order of their iced coffee, fresh orange juice, and pistachio cake definitely won’t hurt either.
Delivery Status: Collection and local delivery from Camberwell.
Fish and chips, like hating Jeremy Clarkson, or wanting one more after last orders have been called, brings us all together. Crunchy battered fish, drenched in vinegar, that’s dipped in curry sauce, which then burns the top of your mouth, is one of life’s good things. Particularly when it comes from Fladda in Camberwell. Needless to say, chips (theirs are proper), mushy peas, and a gherkin should be on the family order. Oh, and a battered sausage too.
Delivery Status: Multiple delivery areas across north, south, east, and west.
Burger, for them. Beer, for you. Fries, for them. Beer, for you. Mac balls, for them. Beer, for you. See how nice this order is working out? Beer and Burger is a cool and casual diner situation that serves uncomplicated comfort food like rocky road bites, chips and gravy, and some of the best burgers in the city. And even better they’re now delivering from Dalston, King’s Cross, The O2 Centre, and Brondesbury. Check your postcode as they’re covering big zones too.
Delivery Status: Collection and delivery from East Dulwich, Hackney Road, Leytonstone, Walthamstow, Finsbury Park, and Clapton.
Nothing beats sitting down to a couple of ginormous 18-inch pizzas with your loved ones (garlic and herb, chilli oil) next to you, the family, and the knowledge that you (and you alone) will be eating this cold, in the early hours of the morning, whilst everyone else sleeps. Just us? Whatever. You’ll be doing the same once everyone piles into Yard Sale’s classic Holy Pepperoni, or their TSB (broccoli, parmesan, pine nuts). They’re big, they’re chewy, and they’re definitely too much if you get brownies and ice cream sandwiches as well.
Delivery Status: Delivery from Shoreditch and London Bridge to local areas.
The most straightforward way of describing Casa Do Frango is by saying it’s “like Nando’s, but better”. And though that doesn’t do justice to everything this Southwark spot does aside from charcoal grilled chicken, like bacalhau fritters or sweet potato feijoada (a Portuguese stew), it’s the only thing your kids will be interested in.
Delivery Status: Delivery within 7 miles of Hide in Mayfair.
Hide is the kind of exceptional Mayfair restaurant you might be a little bit scared to take your young kids to in case they start flinging tomato sauce everywhere until it looks distinctly The Shining. But now you can get their fine dining food delivered to your home, including things like soft-shell crab tempura, wagyu meatloaf, freshly baked madeleines, and their excellent sourdough with whipped salted butter. Their kids' menu is full of great, albeit pricey, options, but it’s perfect for a special isolation occasion.
Delivery Status: Delivery from Notting Hill to local areas.
No you’re not going to make a cocktail out of their Calpol. You’re going to order a couple of hibiscus margaritas and Taqueria’s family bundle instead. This Mexican spot in Notting Hill is doing a set delivery menu including fish, steak, and chicken tacos, as well as guacamole, totopos, and beer for just under 40 quid. Plus, eight different kid’s meals to keep them happy too. Did we mention the hibiscus margaritas?
Delivery Status: Melabes is temporarily closed.
Did you bring a child into this world to say ‘go away, I’m drinking wine in the bath’. No. No, you did not. But here we are, and whilst you’re continuing to do your absolute bloody best, get a vegetable and some hummus in them too. Melabes in Kensington serves seriously good Middle Eastern food like chicken skewers, falafel, and a super smooth hummus that we’re just a little bit obsessed with. There’s also a kid’s special for £9.50 that includes chicken schnitzel fingers, potato wedges, fresh veggies, and a scoop of ice cream for dessert.