Look, if you’re going to have to receive a card that says something absolutely hilarious like ‘Wow, you’re old’ then you might as well eat great cake. From a Japanese patisserie selling whole matcha mille crêpes to an iconic chocolate cake from one of London’s best Italian restaurants, these are the birthday cakes that everyone will want on their special day.
Arrival time: next-day delivery to these London postcodes.
Try looking at Flavourtown’s unicorn cake without smiling. You can’t, can you? Specialising in huge, happy creations, Flavourtown’s birthday cakes are the kind you daydreamed about as a little kid. We’re talking sprinkles, rainbow fillings, gold sparkles, and topped with flamingo macarons. There is a huge range available from the online shop, including red velvet, mint chocolate chip, cookies and cream, and a vegan Biscoff option.
The Hummingbird Bakery
Arrival time: same-day delivery depending on London postcode or next-day delivery for other areas.
The Hummingbird Bakery is something of a destination for those obsessed with sweet treats and taking snaps of sweet treats. The South Kensington cafe—they also have locations in Notting Hill and Spitalfields—is packed with more fuschia surfaces than your average baby girl gender reveal calamity and the cakes follow suit with colourful frosting and plenty of red velvet options. If you’re really looking to kick-start a sugar rush, get involved in the rainbow candy-filled piñata cake that starts at £43, but there are cheaper alternatives too.
Arrival time: same-day delivery in London.
Kova Patisserie, a Japanese patisserie in Soho, is renowned for its vanilla mille crêpes, matcha tarts, strawberry shortcake, and signature bubble teas. All of which you can get delivered to your home. Although prices can be steep for the whole mille crêpes cakes, you can also opt for individual slices or the more affordable sea salt cheese lava cake. Birthday cake toppers are available too.
Cutter & Squidge
Arrival time: next-day delivery across mainland UK.
Arguably the name of this cafe sounds like the ultimate Channel 5 daytime detective team but as one of our nans said upon receiving Cutter & Squidge’s victoria sponge, ‘love lee’. You can also trust that the quality of this Chinatown bakery’s cakes far surpasses our nan’s dictation app. From British classics like lemon drizzle to bright yuzu mango cakes, there are plenty of lookers to choose from and the best part is that you can also add booze and candles to your order.
Arrival time: next-day nationwide delivery (depending on availability).
There’s cake and then there are L’Eto Caffe’s cakes. Think honey cake as thick as a brick, chocolate sponge with additional chocolate glazing and rose buds, and a raspberry meringue cake we’d want to frame and eat at the same time. This seriously good Soho spot is delivering direct from the online shop and you can’t go wrong with the layered coconut and vanilla ice cream cake.
Arrival time: 48 hours notice for all London postcodes.
We could confess how many Crumbs & Doilies cookies we ordered during the pandemic but our dentists might be reading this. This little bakery in Kingly Court not only produces some seriously sugary New York-style cookies, it also produces colourful OTT birthday cakes. Basically, picture what a unicorn would make as a showstopper on Bake Off and you’ve got a fair idea of how many sprinkles and meringue kisses are involved in these cakes. Prices start around the £50 mark.
Arrival time: next-day delivery within the M25.
River Café’s chocolate nemesis cake is so famous it has its own merch. Although you’re looking at a £35 price tag for a cake for four (and up to £120 for something that feeds 16), it’s the perfect birthday gift for anyone whose love language is sugar. A beloved London dessert since 1989, serve it with crème fraîche or if you’re feeling wild, some salted caramel ice cream.