Mourning the loss of your annual ski holiday feels a bit like throwing a hissy when you’re given semi-skimmed instead of soy in your latte. But unhappiness is relative, and so too is the need for raclette. Here are five steps to help you recreate some of the less-snowy bits of a weekend on the slopes, at home:
STEP ONE: SET THE MOOD
First thing’s first. You’re not skiing. We know that. You know that. Your stairs, hopefully, know that. But if you want to enjoy your ski-staycation, then you need to suspend some of your disbelief. Go for a run. Or a walk. Rollerblade, if that’s your thing. Then when you’re done with the cold, cruel world: retreat. Go home. Dim the lights. Put some long johns on. Light a virtual fireplace on your TV. Brrr, that’s better. If you’re open to redecorating your home with pine wood wall panels, we encourage you to do so.
STEP TWO: A WARMING DRINK
“Gosh, that powder today” you say to someone, who is either yourself, or not yourself, who may or may not be involved in your grand ski holiday delusion. You see, this is the beauty of the staycation: the experience is in the eyes of the beholder. And that is you. So get cosy and make yourself a nice warming drink. Be it a stiff one, like an old fashioned from Shop Cuvée. Or, a wholesome one, like Chin Chin’s hot chocolate starter. If you’re after wine, then check out our London-wide Wine Delivery Guide. All go perfectly in front of a crackling (virtual) fire.*
*Actual fires are also acceptable.
STEP THREE: ENTER THE NIBBLES
According to very popular and extremely relatable lifestyle website Goop, things like tartines, soups, and spelt waffles are excellent après ski treats. These all sound nice, but the lack of charcuterie and chips concern us. This is what we, and therefore you, should want. Maison Patron have a brilliant selection of salami, saucisson, cornichons, and other nibbles. As well as cocktails and wine too. La Petite Ferme do a lovely-sounding apero box that includes a bottle of wine, charcuterie, a baguette, and a whole camembert with thyme and honey to bake. Or, chips-wise, Beer + Burger’s fries with gravy and cheese feel about right for these sub-zero conditions. Sorry Gwynnie.
STEP FOUR: BATHE (IN CHEESE & SAUCES)
A theoretically exhilarating and exhausting day calls for downtime and gorging. We recommend lighting some candles, running a bath, and listening to Enya. After that, it’s time consume a frankly shocking amount of liquid cheese. Be it in fondue form - you can order meal kits from Provisions and The Cheese Bar - or with a raclette kit from La Petite Ferme. If cheese isn’t your thing, then don’t worry. Corbin & King do a whole range of heat-at-home European winter warmers, like beef goulash with spätzle, coq au riesling, or mushroom stroganoff.
STEP FIVE: REGRETTABLY WATCH CHALET GIRL
An absolute stonker of a 5/10 romcom, Chalet Girl is a controversial, but completely necessary, nightcap to your ski staycation. It features good actress Felicity Jones, questionable actor Ed Westwick, and all-around wholesome screen presence, Bill Nighy. Odds are you’ll want an actual nightcap watching this, not to mention some pudding. St. John have a good selection of accessibly priced and quite inaccessibly priced dessert wines. While our Dessert Delivery Guide has everything from double chocolate turnovers, to tubs of gelato. This way, at least you’ll end your holiday on something sweet.