It's easy to hate on Guy Fieiri. He's loud, goofy, and allegedly filled with nacho cheese. His restaurant here in New York makes the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company seem like The French Laundry. He wears sandals. He hosts a game show (not cool) about grocery stores (not cool), and says things like "off tha hook" (cool if you're five). And I still want to be friends with him.
Because people take themselves too seriously these days, and Guy Fieri don't give a f*ck.
Here are the ten reasons why I want Guy Fieri to be my best friend, and I'm not even kidding. Let the haters hate. I just wanna hang out.
1. Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives Is An Excellent TV Show.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The fact that they can make a plate of hot corned beef from some Michigan grease pit look appetizing should win them a lifetime of Emmys. I also sort of want to do a Triple D road trip someday. In a Camaro.
2. He's the Insane Clown Posse of food.
It's cool to hate the Insane Clown Posse, too. But you know what? While you're dragging your ass to some miserable job every day, ICP is counting the stacks of money they make from their Juggalo fans, and Guy Fieri-brand chili lime fajita sausages are flying off grocery store shelves. If you were raking in that kind of money doing something you loved, you'd frost your tips and wear sunglasses inside, too. At the very least, respect the hustle.
3. He Makes Me Want A Thumb Ring.
When I give the thumbs up to food or people, my sh*t looks weak.
4. Drake is his "brutha."
5. So is 50 Cent.
6. And Moby.
7. Kids Dress Up As Him.
Do kids dress up as you? Didn't think so.
8. Dude Knows How To Party.
I have no evidence to back up this claim, other than the fact that he puts tequila on pretty much everything.
9. He Seems Like an Awesome Dad.
Guy's Twitter feed actually has more pictures of him hanging out with his kids than it does of him on red carpets or stuffing food in his face. And when was the last time your dad took you to the X Games? Never? How much do you think he really loves you?
10. He Created A Place Called Flavortown.
Sort of like how George R.R. Martin created Westeros in Game of Thrones. Is it a real place? Nope. Do I wish it was? Absolutely.