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Review

Lan's Old Town

$$$$
Chinese  in  Old Town
Written by

You either get Lan's Old Town or you don't. Sure, there may be people out there who treat Lan's as a legitimate option for carry out Chinese food, but we are going to take a strong stance here and say that shouldn't be the case.

Lan's is not a real restaurant in the traditional sense. Yes, it serves food, and yes, technically speaking it's a restaurant, but that's about where the comparisons end. Lan's is part Chinese restaurant and part karaoke bar, except for it's terrible at being good at either. But when you combine half a sh*tty Chinese restaurant with equal parts weird karaoke bar, you've got gold Jerry! Gold!

So while you may find avid Yelpers describing Lan's in detailed terms analyzing the food and service, here's all you really need to know. Lan's is Perfect For BYOB, Big Groups, and Birthdays, because Lan's is synonymous with a wild drunken night. The small restaurant's 90's decor highlighted by plush purple chairs and a fish tank is meant for big tables and indulging in drinks. At one point in time, Jimmy, who owns the joint, may have intended to run a respectable Chinese restaurant. But these days Jimmy’s intentions are more focused on having a drink and some good times with the people around. Be nice to Jimmy, and indulge him in some booze if he's trying to get down.

When it comes to the food, order whatever you want. Most of the time we are already tipsy before they start firing things out of the kitchen, and the goal is to be fully intoxicated before you realize you're at a sit down meal. If the disco ball and flashing club lights come on and you're anything but into it, you know you're a couple drinks behind. You also need to catch up, because the karaoke session is coming soon. This is the point in the night where first timers get that “what the f*ck is this place” look on their faces. Priceless.

You may be asking yourself where the 7.3 rating comes from, and the official answer is that rating is about as unofficial as they come. We figure the food is a low 4 while the fun level is over a 10, so the secretive Infatuation ratings formula brings us to an overall 7.3.

Lan's - you either get it or you don't.

Food Rundown

We could tell you all the specific things you should be eating here, but honestly, what's the point? You should be with a big group and the intention should be to share a number of dishes. You'll probably want to eat something to soak up all the alcohol, so keep it simple with easy things to share. Starting with pot stickers, steamed dumplings, and crab rangoon is never a bad idea. And entrees like beef and broccoli or sweet and sour chicken are probably where it's at too.

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