Asador Bastian

Chicago steakhouses usually follow the same format: Giant spaces with giant booths and giant menus with giant baked potatoes. Asador Bastion, a Spanish steakhouse in River North, is a refreshing change of pace. 

It’s in a 120-year-old River North townhouse (next to an equally historic 30-year-old Hooters) and has an intimate second-floor dining room that’s the antithesis of what you expect from the typical Chicago steak behemoth. It has crown molding and tasteful furniture. There’s nary a bottle sparkler and it isn’t filled with tourists who found it in their Hyatt directory. And if you’re in the market for an impressive dinner featuring a ribeye from a cow someone probably took the time to name, it’s perfect.

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

The menu doesn’t have the standard cuts of beef. Instead, there are about four varieties served per pound ($84 or $134) and a server who must have a Ph.D. in Boeuf-ology will walk you through everything—like how long the Galincia was aged on the hoof, why, and its hopes and dreams before ending up on your plate. The rest of the menu is mainly Spanish plates. There’s octopus a la plancha, a fluffy tortilla Espanola you should top with jamon, and little caviar churros you will consider stuffing in your pockets before anyone sees you. 

If all of the above sounds expensive, well, that’s because it is. But Asador Bastion won’t leave you wondering where your money is going. This place pays attention to details: cute marrow bone holders cradle custom-made knives, and that Boeufologist will make sure you know exactly where that cecina came from, along with its credit score. Plus, you can absolutely trust the kitchen to not fuck up a $200 charcoal-grilled steak. 

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

Asador is fancy enough for a client dinner but isn’t stuffy—you’ll see people in jeans casually catching up over $285 bottles of wine. But the old house acoustics also mean that one loud group can dominate the whole room, which means you might not hear your server describe your cow’s gap year in Madrid. But it doesn’t matter. The “boeuf” speaks for itself.

Food Rundown

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

Caviar Churros

Two little churros are filled with creme fraiche,topped with caviar, and the result is a delightfully creamy and salty start to the meal.

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

Tortilla Espanola

The many dry,bland versions of this we’ve encountered in the past makes us wince like we’re watching Hereditary when it arrives at the table. But Asador’s Spanish omelette is fluffy and filled with perfectly cooked potatoes and onions. Order it topped with jamon for an extra charge.

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

Cecina Y Queso Azul

This dry-aged raw beef is served alongside a strong blue cheese. Eat both with the bread it comes with, and pretend you're at a picnic in the countryside instead of 50 yards away from a Chicago Hooters.

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

The Txuleton

There are about four types of cattle to choose from, and the beef starts at about a pound and a half. Whether you get the younger holstein or the more mature galiciana, the coal-roasted steak will be cooked perfectly, letting the beefy flavor shine through. Pick your fighter carefully (we like the more mild holstein), this is why you’re here.

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

Octopus A La Plancha

You can get this as an entree, but we like to share it with the table—it’s a lot of octopus for one person. It has little crunch from the charred bits, and it’s served on top of garlicky fideo that’s cooked al dente. Treat it like a tentacled pasta course.

photo credit: Kim Kovacik

Golden Chocolate Hazelnut Cake

Like a cross-section of the Earth, this simple-looking cake is hiding layers: mousse, fudge, a chocolate biscuit, and a gooey hazelnut center that this particular metaphor has determined is the magma. Plus it’s wearing a cute little chocolate hat. It’s very chocolatey and very good.